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Teen Poetry #4
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Millions of Miles
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Millions of Miles |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia 
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Millions of Miles A million miles of ocean current Wash over a text I cannot see I believe the secret of life Lies beneath a dark sea Have you learned anything new Cursed with the mind That has always been you Millions of miles of ocean wash over me The secret of life still hidden beneath the sea Is knowledge so difficult to obtain When such importance Is washed away by cold rain Millions of miles of ocean Yet still I cannot see Just what the secret of life Is to me I won't be able to read What the God has left me Alas I cannot reach the secret of life Hidden deep beneath the sea. ---------------------------------- Someone help me! I'm a postaholic  !"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Post all you want. I'm not complaining. This is just another example of your magnificent work. I personally liked this one a great deal. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did quite well. Very good poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You did a good job, but I have one comment: repitition is good, but it's better if we don't use it as the climax of the poem. Thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Another job well done... Nicely written. Good job--Marie |
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