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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-17 10:59 PM

Underground

Underground
So cool and so free
No one here to bother me
All the crazy streets
Lie above
Pathways I can take
To see my love

But she can come to me
Underground in twisting tunnels
Drops of water falling through funnels
Dripping magnified by echoes magnificent

Only I can hear
I can't tell
Which is far
And which is near
Dark and damp caverness walls
They set boundaries
Ones I cannot pass
Watch my life
I am the last, she loves
---------------------------------------

My first of the night

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-03-18 12:03 PM

Oh wow, this is just such a wonderful poem!! I really really love your work! Hope to see more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-03-18 12:08 PM

*applauds*
Moi aussi. Definitely keep it up, bro.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2001-03-19 12:32 PM

I'll be totally honest here and say I didn't like it. It was well written and everything but just didn't strike any chords.

Keep posting.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-03-25 05:14 PM

I think you did good
I do think that you were going round with the same point though
Maybe it's me, I've probably misunderstood the poem
In that light, Can you explain the poem a bit
Thanks

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-25 10:05 PM

Your work truly amazes me, fozzy. This piece definitely belongs in my library. VERY nice job...

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

UnPumpkin
Junior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 18

6 posted 2001-03-25 11:58 PM

Reminds me of a book i read once or twice or three times. "Neverwhere". It's a very good book. This is lovely writing. I will be sure and keep an eye out for your work

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