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Teen Poetry #4
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Stubborn Chest
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Stubborn Chest |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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So heres my latest blah. TRY to enjoy this one. "Stubborn Chest" Lift my shirt, Pry it off. It wont desert, From my chest. Seems to stay, No matter what. I need to convey, Things to you. Singe it bare, Even burn it off. See it there, It wont leave. Knife it out, Gouge my skin. Strip my doubt, From my chest. It wont be done, Can't emit words. Silence now won, It haunts again. J.D. Raulinaitis < !signature--> "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 01-11-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
So tough to analyze this one! I am thinking of a heart, is this accurate? Your heart is being torn away? Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
by the way, don't think that you are falling into a slump... I certainly don't think that way. If you consider "Materialist's Nightmare" to be poorly done, then you must have been superman at one time. ~_^ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful poem jer. Pretty deep if you ask me, I liked this one. Very good.....no slump here. I do see, however, a dipping-the-toes-in-other-styles-trend with you.....very good.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Heya, this was really great. I too think the different styles you're trying are great. Keep posting you're talent. ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"It wont be done, I cant emit words. Silence now won, It haunts again." The way I read this is that you have something on your chest that you need to tell someone, but you just can't get it off, no matter how you try... you just can't find the right words. That's a little hard for me to believe about such a poet, though! Thanks for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
LoveBug caught it. It was relatively easy to figure out. There just something I can get off my chest. (as in words)  thanks for the replies everyone.. at least im trying new things! ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I think you're doing well at trying new things Jeremy Nice job on this one!"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
You write great "blah" I hope you keep posting your "Blah"... Great Job Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
sometimes there is an advantage in being late in replying by that time, you kinda get an explanation of the poem already  i too had to think hard about this job well done if i ma say thanks for the great read keep em coming I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very good Jeremy, I am becoming a fan of your work. I'm sure you'll be able to find the words to tell who you need to about what is bothering you. Your a writer, you should be able to eventually. (Although it is soooooo much easier to write feelings than speak them!) xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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