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Giggles
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Giggles |
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Amature2 Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 416 |
Giggles Her giggles were her main attraction Its sound gave the room an instant reaction All eyes watching her, her gestures, her moves Everyone wanting to get in the groove Foul is heard from her newly found friend Everyone backs off, as if she were quicksand Then suddenly a new sound is heard in the air Your giggles are heard, the room turns to stare A room full of choices A room full of noises But your giggles is all that I hear Sweet music rings in my ears Your giggles, so clear, so true Your giggles, my attraction to you |
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| © Copyright 2001 Amature2 - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
isn't this sweet?!  -SEA |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Ah, sweet and light despite the attempt of someone in the room to taint the moment. |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
nice poem. a touch romantic yet in a lively sort of way. I'm not quite sure about the rhyme though. friend and sand don't make the same type of sound so it throws the reader offbalance. and just a suggestion on this part right here: A room full of choices A room full of noises But your giggles is all that I hear Sweet music rings in my ears bear in mind that this is only a suggestion. a room full of choices a room full of voices but your giggles are all that I hear sweet melodies that sing in my ear you have some talent and a unique blend of words, though you could enhance it further by editing your poems at any time. practice on new ones at first and then go back and relook at your old ones and try to edit those. after a few months you will begin to notice a sound difference in the maturity of your writing. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do like to share what little I know with any one I come across. |
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