Open Poetry #12 |
Shredded---this one's been begging to be written |
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
SHREDDED Virginia Salter shredded she stood there as every eye seemed to assess the words that had exited her mouth glowering, piercing, slicing were their gazes ripping at her heart her very being being wounded beyond the seeking of some semblance of relief defeated, she began to collapse to her knees tears streaming from her woeful eyes wishing to be a puddle and flow away into infinity or at least some other day © January 19, 2001 |
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© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved | |||
dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
This leaves a sorrowful weight on the heart. Could see so clearly, the girl, and whatever pains that tear into her heart. I trully felt for her. Wonderful write. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Virginia~ Wonderful write hon, well done perfect title as well ~HUG~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Wow, so much powerful feeling in this, and yes the title is perfect. Take care! "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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nona Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 139Fla |
WOW "wishing to be a puddle and flow away" think we have all had these feelings but you captured them for us...wonderful write..Hope to read more....nona |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Thank you all! Such hearty responses do my psyche and heart much good. You probably wouldn't believe what inspired this piece. It was something pretty ordinary, but life's experiences and awareness of the experiences of others helped write it. |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
WOW! What a powerful piece! I can almost feel the intensity of her grief through your words. Well done! I would be curious as to what inspired this piece because oftentimes it's the littlest or strangest things that cause us to break like that. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow! A very impressive piece of poetry from you. I felt every intense word, and I do relate. Of course each case is unique, and it's own type of hell, but I am sure that your poem will spark strong emotions in your readers and they will relate, even if in a small way. I love the presentation, the theme and the last few lines are perfect Take care, Melissa< !signature--> The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 01-19-2001).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Virginia I enjoyed reading your poem. James |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Rascal, Melissa, James, thank you all so very much. Your comments are extremely encouraging. |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
VAS--Wonderful piece. Enjoyed the read. Poeminister |
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