Open Poetry #12 |
Memories Best Forgotten |
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I was just sixteen It was just another day at school Til my eyes met yours Quite by chance ya know? You were walking with a friend You both had the same name And when I called to him You both turned... A few days later After having you constantly on my mind There you were, in the library What should I do? Should I speak? Or just ignore you? You looked up and smiled Decision made... You asked could I go riding That very next Friday night I said I have to ask first but call me ok? And you did that very afternoon And when mom got home I asked And she said I suppose And I was in heaven... Oh my when you showed up You were on a motorcycle Mom was so angry But I didnt know really I didnt And still she let me go We spent hours just riding My arms tight around you And you just said goodnight... From that day It was you and I Together, inseperable We became us The whole school knew you The bad boy, but not to me To me you were just lonely like me But no more... We had wonderful times The bike our freedom from the world When we rode it was just us Bodies close together No need to speak because we understood And we loved Too fast surely Too far... One day I cant even remember why You hit me I remember the pain You hit your knees crying Begging me to forgive you Telling me how sorry you were Begging me to stay Saying it would never happen again... And I believed you Why wouldnt I Nothing in my life had prepared me for this This cycle of abuse The beatings the tears His and mine The pain the second chances given For love... I learned to hide the bruises To lie about the pain And pretend I didnt live in fear Of saying the wrong thing Of wearing the wrong clothes Of setting him off And starting it all over again And again... But somehow I found the strength To walk... well to run away And tho I lived in terror That you would somehow find me You never did And I healed and grew Becoming who I am now I was sixteen... |
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© Copyright 2001 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
A lesson learned too early and yet too late. I hope the subject of this finds her happiness. Joyce |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Very moving poem. I don't think memories like this are ever truly forgotten and perhaps that is a form of protection, to keep it from happening again. I hope you have found a happier life. Betty Lou Hebert |
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startin_fresh Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137US |
Paula I have never experienced the suffering that you had at the hands of another. However I have witnessed it and I commend you on finding the strength to: "To walk... well to run away" I bid you peace and happiness. Shawn "You can't reason with your heart; it has it's own laws and thumps about things which the intellect scorns." ~ Mark Twain [This message has been edited by startin_fresh (edited 03-20-2001).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Why does that always come as such a shock?I'm glad you had the sense to run like hell. Funny, this is an echo of a conversation I had earlier. If violence is an option for someone, it will remain that way. So either run like hell, or be prepared to live, wondering when the next "episode" will be. Hugs lady. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
And whats sad is you will always remember him as the guy that hit you...James |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I had a teenage experience just like that.....that bike was an incredible feeling. Thank God, I didn't marry him, though. Ha! How different would be the poetry? Great, great poem and expression. Chapter 2? |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Is there any explanation for the reason why he would do that! I'm sure some physcologist has a reason trumped up form an over educated comparison to another case....but the truth is why? I have to say I'm baffled because I was brought up by my grandad who always trained me to have respect for women...in his mind they were the weaker sex...I'm not so sure! I always get upset when a certain human being thinks they have the right to excerise physical dominace over another...I mean after all isn't that what our democracy is supposed to be about? FREEDOM in all of our hearts and the aspect of that doesn't change............never never would I think it was right for you to strike me Paula.I'm just using that for an example but I know that you'll know what I mean........you are a special poet for writing this! Love to you Eric The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Paula - what a touching writing you have done. A story of young love and heartbreak. I'm sorry for your pain, and I do wish you the best. BC |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Joyce...all life is a lesson...some just more painful than others...thanks Trillium...no never forgotten although I'd like to...thank you startin_fresh...I'm very glad you havent...and thank you serenity...well it took me a while to learn...but I did...and you kow the missing verse here...thanks my sweet friend James...yes thats exactly what I remember...hugs my friend JLR...chapter 2? are you crazy girl? No really thank you...and maybe someday Eric...my sweet poet man...as if I would ever raise my hand to you in anything other than love...but yes I do know what you mean...and yes I could (and did) make excuses for him...he had a really terrible childhood...but thats NEVER an excuse...you are what you choose to be regardless of your past...I only wish I could have written it all...and Im not special Eric...I'm just me...HUGS times a jillion Bill...it was long ago and far away...thank you for caring |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Paula, this is so very sad. I can't believe you went through that at such an early age and as the rest have said, thank God you were able to walk away. This is a great write for a sad story. Take care. Sauni Sauni :) |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I meant chapter 2 as in your life, not with this person. And yes, I am crazy. Ha! |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
A very good weave, Paula...I'm glad you used your common sense to escape his violent grasps...peace and love!! Nathan |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Paula, you laid this poem out very well showing your initial attraction, the excitement, the abuse and the leaving in a very simple and yet profound manner....very well done.. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Saunni...I thank you...walking away was harder than anyone thinks it should be... JLR...chapter two of my life was years of learning who I really was...learning how to NOT let this happen again...HUGS you silly thing Nathan...oh sugar I dont know how much of it was common sense and how much was just sheer desparation...thank you Balladeer...its always an honour when you read something I have written...I just told it how it happened...most of it anyway...thank you sir |
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Jellybean King Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153Jelly, Bean |
...this bittersweet ballad of love, betrayal and self discovery takes the reader on a journey through the experiences of your youth and this phenomenon which many find themselves trapped in...thankfully you escaped. Then emotions here are so strong, and well written, that I found a part of me living those moments with you, although I have not experienced such a thing. Thank you for sharing! Jellybean King |
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DreamLess Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 92 |
well i must admit its a very nice story and it was said in a very lovely poem good work WRITTEN BY ME..(17 YRS HIGHSCHOOL GIRL) |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Jellybean King...Im happy you ahve never felt this fear...and thank you for your kind words DreamLess...uh...thanks |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
The young should read this poem and take heed. It is a warning that once it starts it will not stop is the only way to go. Thank you for sharing and hopefully one of these young poets will see theirself and get running. |
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