navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » sandcastle's remnants
Open Poetry #12
Post A Reply Post New Topic sandcastle's remnants Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-03-19 06:23 AM


mandala whispers "be aware"
sandcastles bleeding into air
as the tide recedes...pull wind,
with promises to build again.
every grain be counted now
usurping form of molded vow
as the sun relentless stares
and water's play sprays unaware
droplets not enough to keep
the chiseling of mad wind's weep...

and as the sun colors the sky
to mark the end of day's demise
the tide returns from sea to beach
sandcastles remnants, swept from me.

[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 03-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-03-19 06:42 AM


Beautiful setting and the mood is marvelous...good images ....a wonderful write!
Any thing that gets swept away can be built again....take care.

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-03-19 06:45 AM


oopss...didn't think anyone was watching...so I did a quick edit...lol..hope ya still like it! grin....hugs, p.b. (poet buddy)
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-03-19 09:54 AM


mandala whispers "be aware"
sandcastles bleeding into air
as the tide recedes...pull wind,
with promises to build again.
====================
droplets not enough to keep
the chiseling of mad wind's weep...

and as the sun colors the sky
to mark the end of day's demise
the tide returns from sea to beach
sandcastles remnants, swept from me.
=====================

this is so delicate and lovely in its bittersweet frailty ...
beautiful rhymes and images me twin
hugs me


We wish ourselves beautiful,
we cry in the night.
Its not the love you fear ...
its the fall from the height.
~Edwin McCain~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2001-03-19 09:59 AM




Just read an old post of yours in one of the other Forums....

will be in touch with you later....

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2001-03-19 10:06 AM


Serenity,
True but sandcastles remain in the mind. Beautiful, enjoyed.

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
6 posted 2001-03-19 10:18 AM


As the sandcastles are built and washed away by the waves or the mother nature, so is the the things that are built in our heart. Yours too......

Bernie

Bernie Slicker

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
7 posted 2001-03-19 12:49 PM


I like watching children build them on the beach ... they react with a playful attitude ... they just keep building them closer to the water

[This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 03-19-2001).]

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-03-19 12:59 PM


what did they hold? only time will tell . . .

wonderful my friend. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2001-03-21 07:20 PM


Love this one, the images are wonderful.
S

ATelamon
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up
10 posted 2001-03-21 08:04 PM


Perhaps
sandcastles are simply
sculpted life

built with hurried caring
as we feel the tide approaching
impermanent as we humans are

in truth sandcastles
are all our
homes

"Be your own hero. Save your interior landscape. As in all mythos the blight can be defeated and the land turned back to freedom and fertility.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
11 posted 2001-03-22 01:48 AM


YOU!!!! You are awesome ya know? Sometimes we need to let the waves steal back what we first stole...so we can start again...hugs darlin
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
12 posted 2001-03-22 02:53 AM


how you crank these out everyday is a feat of awesome-ness.
a beauty of a rhyme here. i just moved back to california (san diego) and i must say this paints a truly calming and provoking picture...
i LIKE it.
i like it a lot. hehehe.

You gotta love livin, cause dyin's a pain in the ass.
- Frank Sinatra

"It don't mean a thing
if it ain't got that swing."

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
13 posted 2001-03-22 08:59 AM


How do you do it? I am amazed. Over and over again you wow me. You say you like mine, I pale in comparison. I'm not worthy. *L*
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
14 posted 2001-03-22 09:14 AM


Serenity~ dear heart, you are fantastic! and so is this poem! SEA
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2001-03-22 07:16 PM


JM...thank you, finally a sandcastle that won't wash away. You always touch me with your thoughtfulness! Hugs!

Kari? Your concern touched my heart as well...was quite a memorable day, considering it's the fifth time in four months I set the house on fire...sigh...and? worry not...with all of this practice? I'm pretty good at putting out my own fires!

bernie---I thank you for that sweet thought---hugs and gratitude!

Rex? it's either that, or dig a trench--but true, children do live in the moment, don't they? Thank you my dear friend. Hope you are well.

Sven...I think part of the sadness is that there's seldom a trace...wasn't as bad as the nude sand woman I built once, sunbathing...grin, and? her breasts kept blowing away! and what did she hold? a Budweiser!

Sandra, thank you much, and I'm so pleased to see your spirits have picked up! Hugs.

AT---yes, that's the only way to look at it...the only constant IS change! Thank you!

Paula...You've been a sweetheart...thanks to you too...(I do make friends out of the oddest circumstances)

Ethan, my friend I've missed you! So happy to see you posting again...and? I'm trying to catch up on my reading tonite...will be reading YOU!

PK---you DO say the sweetest things!

SEA...I love your enthusiasm, and admire your work much....HUGS and thanks to you, lady!

seymour? forgive me...I came back just to thank you. I love your poetry, and wouldn't dream of slighting you! Thanks for reading. You honor me.

Thanks to the forum for being so patient with me while I iron out my pc probs---You guys ARE great!

and still yet another Jethro Tull quote:

"and the sandcastle virtues,
are all swept away,
in the tidal destruction-
the moral melee.
The elastic retreat
rings the close of the day
as the last wave uncovers
the new-fangled way.

But your new shoes
are worn at the heels
and your suntan does
rapidly peel
and your wise men don't know
how it feels---to be thick as a brick"

[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 03-22-2001).]

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
16 posted 2001-03-24 04:10 PM


serenity - what a soft beautiful writing. I like it very much. Very touching.


BC

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

17 posted 2001-03-25 03:10 PM


Thanks Bill. You are kinda touching yourself!
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #12 » sandcastle's remnants

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary