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Open Poetry #12
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Taunting Lines
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Taunting Lines |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Taunting Lines those tender, sweet and little lines simply played a tease and taunt so she left one night to go and look for her estranged but pulling want she had a special, chary feeling one sense he left in her, appealing one that might have suggested "haunt" this strange and little seeking want in last of winter's blowing wind she felt the tug of this and then she went seeking for the pull searching for the want in full he had left a note on the wind telling her he'd come, again telling her he'd gone to sea as her want became a fantasy the waves, they crashed as they broke along the ghost white line of shore telling her brutally, in the break that he'd be back, nevermore her footprints, small, in the sand along the path, they'd held hands now she felt the pain of dolor and her face went white in color and in her search, she felt the want and wept of lines that teased a taunt so evermore she would then just be a haunt of line, his loving fantasy 03.14.01 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this brought tears to my eyes! Wow, so pulling......loved this!  SEA |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you little one....of course I knew you would like this one.... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
telling her he'd gone to sea as her want became a fantasy the waves, they crashed as they broke along the ghost white line of shore telling her brutally, in the break that he'd be back, nevermore her footprints, small, in the sand along the path, they'd held hands now she felt the pain of dolor and her face went white in color and in her search, she felt the want and wept of lines that teased a taunt so evermore she would then just be a haunt of line, his loving fantasy =============== this is excellent Sun... I love the haunted, bittersweet feel of it... and your cadence is perfect... very cool weave. well done my dear poetess of the plains  We wish ourselves beautiful, we cry in the night. Its not the love you fear ... its the fall from the height. ~Edwin McCain~ |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
You wrote this with a 'sadness in beauty' very nice Karilea |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Karilea~ Magnetic pull on the shoreline of emotion ... Nicely done. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Wow. I usually am not the most visualizing of reader, but I could see each line in my mind, and it flowed so well...this is a very strong poem here. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Quite a story...quite a loss. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Such a sad thing this... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea...what a wonderfully written romance of sadness. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
how well written but very sad to think of love so beautifully destined to be only fantasy..... fantasy is wonderful.... reality is heaven.... i feel a loss with this one.... a loss that shouldn't be.... thank you, karilea, for such lovely lines |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
What beautiful sadness you've written. *S* Great poem, Sunshine... I like it a lot! *S* |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
The lines of a fantasy. This is that we all need. For our lives will feed. On the lines of our fantasy. Nice write. I like this..libraryit goes. Bernie Bernie Slicker |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kari dear heart truly awesome words fail me but this it truly fabulous work as always. Do I love it?..... of course I do!! Take care love as always Puck Take back the hope you gave,- I claim |
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Jellybean King Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153Jelly, Bean |
...woven throughout is a lovely sentimental, haunting and mystical feel...the reader is lead gently through the mind of this woman, and those otherwise inacessible places are revealed...thank you for taking us there! Jellybean King |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
All I can say to all of these kind responses, is....thank you.... |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*sigh* this is so beautiful Sunshine, and really heartfelt penned. ((hugs)) Charisma |
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