Ode to Carly's Pigeon - pipTalk Forums

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Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

0 posted 2001-03-14 05:47 PM

(okay, I don't care for this piece myself, but it was written on impulse when talking to Carly on MSN. She said "Write me a poem about a pigeon." So I did, sorta.)

Setting breaths in midnight wind
Easing wings that time forgot
A pigeon, flipped, and rolled, and spinned
And landed on its thinking spot
From my place of space and rest
I looked to him, and he looked back
And argued with me who was best
At swimming in the ocean black
I stood upwright, and spread my arms
And closed my eyes, as did my foe
But time neglected midnight charms
And I was beaten in its glow
The pigeon laughed as I fell dead
And spat upon me where I lay
And not one pigeon have I fed
Ever since that fateful day

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

1 posted 2001-03-14 05:55 PM

You do crack me up!

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

2 posted 2001-03-14 05:55 PM

This made me laugh so I like it!

Betty Lou Hebert

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

3 posted 2001-03-14 05:55 PM

Awwww...ain't that just the sweetest thang ya ever did read? Poor, poor pigeons...
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Panne
Junior Member

since 2001-01-31

Posts 15
South TX, USA

4 posted 2001-03-14 05:56 PM

Allan, I liked this - quite funny - I was wondering where you were leading me. Panne

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

5 posted 2001-03-14 06:49 PM

Grins! I love it! Nice humor weaved throughout and oh did I love that "thinking spot" line!

After years of searching, I have found I am nothing more, nothing less...I am in truth Just A Woman after all.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2001-03-14 08:03 PM

Allan~
Adorably comedic !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2001-03-14 08:36 PM

I don't know that upwright you were
when you were thinking of her
but I know you wove a spell
and told the story....very well

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

8 posted 2001-03-15 12:45 PM

Haha... I really didn't mean for it to be comedic, but now that I read it over I guess it could be considered that somehow.

I just tryed to rhyme a whole bunch of lines.
That's impulse poetry for you though. Written as fast as I could type it, it truly was.

Thanks for all of your replies.

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

dragonpoe
Senior Member

since 2000-11-12

Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida

9 posted 2001-03-16 03:58 PM

loved the read, panne. Always do.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

10 posted 2001-03-16 05:32 PM

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

11 posted 2001-03-16 07:52 PM

*smiles* i love this... hehe.. good laughs are always good

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

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