Some Things You Just Can’t Explain

I was in a local bar, just getting drunk.
Ben asked, why are you getting skunked?
I had a horrible, horrible day, Ben.
Some things you just can’t explain.

I’m your friend, I won’t doubt it.
OK, I replied, I’ll tell you all about it.
This morning as I was milking old Bessey,
Her left leg jerked and spilled the bucket all over me.

He said you shouldn’t be sad.
One bucket lost is not too bad.
I replied, Some things you just can’t explain.
He asked, What happened then?

I tied her left leg to a nail,
The right leg twitched, I lost the second pail.
Some things you just can’t explain.
So, I tied her right leg up before I went insane.

When the next bucket was ready,
The cow’s tail swished, and made it unsteady
So, to tie her tail, I used my belt.
And that’s when my heart began to melt.

In that moment, my pants fell down,
My wife walked in……….
Some things you just can’t explain.