»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #12
»
The Carousel
| Open Poetry #12 |
|
The Carousel |
|
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
The Carousel Tonight, the carousel finally stopped spinning. Like an ethereal hourglass harbouring tiny horses made of sand, each one an odyssey of all my seasons. Each one a catharsis of my laughter, my tears, my unbridled pain. Minute figurines, falling one at a time. Some carrying my joys, many carrying my sorrows. And I have ridden them all. Tonight, my heart lies open. Vulnerable and fragile, like a wounded soilder on a battlefield desperately grasping for the promise of eternal love. Eternal love, that will finally and ultimately heal my scar-worn heart, and make me whole. Tonight, my carousel of sand horses and dreams that never came true, has stopped revolving. The painted ponies with faceless smiles that carried my past and my pain for so many yesterdays, have been retired. I have ridden my last journey of lost horizons. Tonight, you have given me my first ride of love, of hope, of forever. You have tenderly stripped away all the sorrows of my yesteryears. You have taken away the worst of me. Now, all that's left underneath, is the best of me. That is what I give to you. I am complete. I am finally home. And I am in love... ...for the last time in my life. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 athena4 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
athena4, Interesting metaphore. Very creative. But may I ask, where does the third stanza come from? Krawdad |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Athena4, Did you get the brass ring, Loved this piece and the images it evoked! write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
This is FANTASTIC!!  -SEA |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Krawdad, Thanks for the reply. And I'm not sure about the 3rd stanza. I guess I put that in there as feeling the desperation of a wounded soldier (which I know, I spelled wrong!), just aching for someone to wrap their arms around him and love him in his last moments. It epitomized sadness, and longing, and that was the way I was feeling. Thanks again! Elise |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Kethry, Thanks so much, you are sweet. I got the brass ring, but only for a little while. Sadly, isn't that how it always turns out. I guess that's why we write! Love, Elise |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
SEA, Thank you so much. I love hearing from you. Glad you enjoyed it! Elise |
||
|
Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Lovely write...enjoyed the read and the imagery it flourished. Nicely done. Poeminister "...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." -Poe |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Poeminister, Thank you! I was feeling very "imagery-like" when I wrote it. Thanks for the sweet reply. Elise |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Ah, this is a great one of yours, I love the way you have re-done it. And I understand the thoughts of riding around and around on the carousel, missing, just missing the ring, each time. I hope it finally slows down enough for you to catch. Awesome poem. S |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
My God this is beautiful! I've ridden that carousel for too many years, how I relate. There's such creative imagery in this and yet so simply relatable. This is phenomenally expressed! Take care, Melissa The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Catalinamoon, You understand perfectly, as always. Someday my friend, we will stop spinning... Love, Elise |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Melissa, Thanks for the beautiful reply. And I hope that you can stop riding that carousel. It never seems to go anywhere, but round in circles. Love, Elise |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
athena, perhaps someday, that horse will take you off the carousel and into the field of dreams. . . just wonderful my friend. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Sven Thank you, as always. But I need a Knight to ride that horse! Much love, Elise |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Excellent use of a metaphor. Love and life can often seem as if we are on a carosel and you have penned that perfectly. Loved the read. |
||
|
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* how incredibly beautiful. this was a wonderful read. I love to read of someone finding love. Wonderful. Much love and hugs to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://www.voy.com/7622/ http://www.powerpoems.com |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Mark, Thank you for the sweet reply. Now tell me, how do I get off the carousel?! Love, Elise |
||
|
athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Startime, Thank you so much. I did find the love and the happiness, but alas, it did not last. I guess I'm back on the horse again... Much love, Elise |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
