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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-02-19 12:14 PM

A Babbling Brook

cool and running
burbling
and bubbling
thoughts of troubling
washed away

and in my fingering
tributaries
I run along
strong
where I belong
to refresh
and resource
clearing away
the remorse

parts of me run to
those ponds
where I belong
for a moment’s growth
of nature’s delight
in dark and light

parts of me flow
to a lake
and I partake
the joy of wind
in my wake

but those parts of me
that flow on to a pool
where stagnant ruins
the breath of me
and scum laughs
like a fool

and only subsides
by drops of rain
as captured
over and over
again

no, no, no,
I am better as
the babbling brook
clean and fresh
to give outlook
on what is,
what will be,
coursing through life,
a given mystery

for a brook can only
stem from within
from the deepest parts
where life begins

and in the sun
I will glimmer and shine
o’er rock and along
burbling bubbling
a brookish song
where I belong
to lend along
the thoughts
that carry
us

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

1 posted 2001-02-19 12:22 PM

This is beautiful...very picturesque...loved it Karilea!

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2001-02-19 12:33 PM

Lovely, lovely, lovely, Sunshine! It babbles with bubbles and does all it sets out to do. Water is life, living water. The course of this trickle grows and flows grandly. I so enjoyed the entire read, except...

I was expecting 'me' as the last word instead of 'us'

As the 'brook' told its story I never encountered more than one 'entity' until the last line. Did I miss something?

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

3 posted 2001-02-19 12:48 PM

as they say. . . let it flow. . . let it flow. . .

wonderful Sunshine. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

4 posted 2001-02-19 01:31 PM

Sunshine,

your words flow nicely with an occational rhyme.....

I enjoyed reading this one, Bob <><

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

5 posted 2001-02-20 11:16 PM

Hi Sunshine,

Your pen flowed wonderfull in this beauty, much enjoyed.

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

6 posted 2001-02-20 11:33 PM

Refreshing to read!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2001-02-21 03:48 AM

Karilea~
Lovely ... I was swept along.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

8 posted 2001-02-21 03:53 AM

This one reminds me of the beauty in another piece of yours describing a piece of your property just over a little hill. Do you know which one I am thinking of???? I bet you do. I loved that one and I love this one just the same. Your words paint such lovely images and you know I am a sucker for both nature and imagery so you know that I am loving this work of yours. It's construction is nothing short of exquistite and your use of the language brings the beauty of this scene to us so wonderfully that it is truely refreshing as you have already been told in another reply. Library for sure.

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

9 posted 2001-02-21 04:46 AM

Sunshine, I can almost hear the water as i lie in the sun beside it! Beautifully done.
Dee

I wish you every happiness and pray you'll always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

10 posted 2001-02-21 07:35 AM

but those parts of me
that flow on to a pool
where stagnant ruins
the breath of me
and scum laughs
like a fool

and only subsides
by drops of rain
as captured
over and over
again

...wow..what a description...

~Wynter (I feel strange picking out what must be the worst feelings..when everyone else looked at the positive..but this was a new way to describe your feelings and it touched me)

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

11 posted 2001-02-21 08:43 AM

I do so enjoy seeing how readers are captured by various parts of a poem...confirming that we all see things differently....

Thank you all for reading!

Puck
Junior Member

since 2001-02-21

Posts 14
Oberon's Palace

12 posted 2001-02-21 11:13 AM

Sunshine this is full of the water of life, a beautifully written and presented piece. It really flows so wonderfully

Full of real life. And the pictures that you've painted are so vivid

Iam that merry wanderer of the night
I jest to Oberon, and make him smile
Puck

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