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Open Poetry #12
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24 hour duty
| Open Poetry #12 |
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24 hour duty |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx 
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24 hour dutys and knee deep snow nothing to do and no where to go tired of work with no time to play trapped in the crap of one more day people of rank and people of file people that make it less than worthwhile rule after rule form straw after straw a thin line between rule and law time and again they lay them down one by one they will make a crown with thorns and needles to leave their mark in a way not hid by the dark after time it wears the soul away minute by minute and day by day a steady drizzle of white snow bright on your eyes to hide the show so many secrets hid by the dark of night so many wrongs made worse by one right a pile of straws placed in a sack a forcibly shoved onto your back stuck there from dawn to dawn no time for rest or even yawn the sack overflows and still they place more and scream in rage if it falls to the floor it's only a matter of time till the fuse breaks the sky will cry pure white and the earth shakes and they wonderwhy no one wants to come here the land of the morning calm is a land of fear fear of what is and will be fear of what was and should be a land still struggling with the past as it's people wonder how long will it last and the soldiers who came here to protect and serve remain at the very end of a nerve faced by those who no longer care and by those who don't want us there wanting appologies politicians won't give for the innocents who will no longer live and the dreams and hopes of a people trapped lay on the straw the just might have cracked that dwells upon your tiny back inside an already overflowing sack held by a hand sweaty and sore hovering inches from a dirty floor and they wonder why noone sane comes here to this land of mystery and countless fear yours or mine or the person walking by add them up and then multiply by the square of 365 times two and only then will you know just what to do but you'd already be crazy just counting the math for sometimes you wonder if it's the right path that your destined to walk or stumble on down torn by the thorn on your crown question or moral, rule or law falling down is the final straw just one answer more do I lack will this be the straw that breaks my back "There were times in my life when I was going insane tryin to walk through the pain. When I lost my grip and I hit the floor yeah I thought I could le |
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| © Copyright 2001 James Webster - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
24 hour dutys and knee deep snow nothing to do and no where to go tired of work with no time to play trapped in the crap of one more day you are very well appreciated..huggzzz * and that today crap is everywhere...although I know there is no comparison.... ~Wynter...wishing you well "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Uh huh I see how it is. Pullin 24 hour duty and not gettin online to talk. Sneaky. Godd poem, I can feel your frustration. Peace love and Happiness man. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Desperado, You have told an age old story here with great emotion and wisdom, I applauld you in this one, wonderful poetry here friend. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Desperado, you sound like you're ready to come home. It's rough out there! Keep on keepin on....you can do it, don't let the straw put you down. |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Desperado -- Believe me when I say that there are those of us out here who appreciate what you do. This is a wonderful piece by the way. Great writing!  |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Dearest Desperado, I do hope that you will be coming home very soon. I think you've told your story and your thoughts about it very effectively in this. May hope and peace be your enduring company, friend. ((HUGS)) (@)----> X 1,000 and may they not wither in the winter wind. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
What strikes me about your poem is not only the effectiveness of repetition to convey the idea of approaching that final straw, but the ease with which you show the scenario through the eyes and perception of many, not just the speaker. A fine composition, Desperado. Thanks for it, and do take care. Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Though I know it's no fun having one aggravation pile onto another, you've written the frustration into a great poem! And you reminded me to say something you should hear more often: THANK YOU! |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
I'd like to thank all of ya'll for reading this. sometimes it's hard to understand just what people are doing and it's even harder when they don't know of any who care. I came in today feeling burned out and worn down, yet reading all the responses here made me feel good today. and most of you have been very supportive and I'd like to thank you. I printed this out and plan on putting it on my wall. not so much for the poem itself, but for the words that follow it. thank you. |
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