Open Poetry #12 |
Puddle Jumping |
OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Puddle Jumping At nine, on rainy Mondays, Running down winding streets, To take that leap of faith, Into puddles, Crystal clear joys, of innocence. At twelve, on icy mornings, Paper round complete, heading home, First stirrings of independance, skipping, Through puddles, Cracked, cold reflections of uncertainty. At sixteen, on dark winter evenings, Kissing, in fumbling wet confusion, Saturday night, neon reflections, In puddles, Floundering with emotion. At twenty, on stormy nights, Bone weary wanderings, Feet dragging grimy boots, Through puddles, Dark, muddy forbodings, of times tide. At forty, on drizzled afternoons, Staring at bare, damp, walls, To take that leap of desperation, Over puddles, To fall back, drowning in fear. Olias. |
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© Copyright 2001 Mick Yates - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jazzmole Junior Member
since 2001-02-15
Posts 30Texas |
Olias, m'man, you have a talent in creative imagery. I wouldn't be surprised to know that you are a musician. I was drawn into this by both the colorful choice of words and the symmetry of the poem itself. I would only note one thing: It's not necessary to cap after a comma. Good read indeed. Michael~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is bringing many thoughts to mind, Olias, many ways in which to respond....which of course is a good sign of a wonderful write, so I shall say.... nothing.... except, Well done! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Olias this is very well done! I enjoyed the trip through life and I could relate to it. I especially loved the honesty of the last verse. Take care! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Olias, I enjoyed walking through puddles with you. Write on Kethry. Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Olias~ When the puddles are deep ... take a great big leap over them. One of my favorite pastimes ... brings much joy to these wet little feet ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You've shared a wonderful journey... from an innocent's joy to the fear of the world-weary... well done! |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Jazzmole, Thanks for the reply, and for my sins I am a musician, your very perceptive sir, can't seem to break the habit of the caps thing, but I'm trying. Thanks once again. Sunshine, Your very kind, one word of encouragement from you is worth a thousand. Be well. Ethome, Thank you for your comments poet sir, seems like we have both gotten our feet wet at some point. Kethry, Thanks for the company, arn't puddles great. Marge, With your wet feet and my dry humour we have a perfect balance. Thank you for your kind words. Regards to you all, Take Care, Olias. |
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