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Open Poetry #12
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Lookin' for a place to fit......
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Lookin' for a place to fit...... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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( my thanks to Paul and Doreen for the inspiration ) ladies in the offices work by day grab straws at night looking for that fantasy some elusive mr. right bodies ache from tryin' but too afraid to quit looking for a place to fit a little place to fit old man on the corner watches cars go passing by wonders where they're headed dreams about mom's apple pie he says.... "Life is one big puzzle ain't much real sense to it we're all little pieces looking for a place to fit need a place to fit sitting at a green light wondering which way to turn left or right or forward past mistakes got no return looking for some small space ease my mind a bit looking for a place to fit God, just a place to fit |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hope you, Doreen and Paul find it all....This is ... so apropos.... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Doreen turned me on to the latest Paul Simon album and, listening to to it, it just made me want to try to write something in his style....glad you liked it.... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I too enjoy the same CD....she certainly knows her music....as does Paul.... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
this is awesome... as are you, michael..... i need to read this several times and i will... thank you, sweet poet... we are all looking for a place to fit, it's so true.... a wonderful free verse from you with the rhythm and meter inspired by one of the most creative lyricists of our day.... a genius, i truly think in rhythm, lyric and wisdom, paul simon.... you've written a wonderful piece here... and i will come back and read it several times, i'm sure... there's so much you've captured which needs to be digested...... i love it and i love you, too *wink*  |
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KokoStewartKoomoa Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580Waikiki, Hawaii |
Beautiful I can hear that song! thanks  Passion,imagination and intellect running together... Poetry in motion~~~ Aloha with warmest regards, Koko |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Darn you Deer....you made me cry this mornin! This piece hits many cords in my heart...and each one stings when it's played..."just a place to fit"...yes wouldn't that be nice....fantastic writing...take care my friend. H~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
ladies in the offices work by day grab straws at night looking for that fantasy some elusive mr. right bodies ache from tryin' but too afraid to quit looking for a place to fit a little place to fit ==================== sitting at a green light wondering which way to turn left or right or forward past mistakes got no return looking for some small space ease my mind a bit looking for a place to fit God, just a place to fit ================== ok..its official now... YOU ROCK very very cool Deer... you have penned an impressive tune here ... did ya know there is group of back up singers here... the Mardi-gras girls LOL I play a mean tambourine and can of spam When you see thru loves illusion, theres the danger your perfect lover looks like a perfect fool you go running off in search of a perfect stranger |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
the MARDI GRAS girls!ROFL!!!! JM, you don't know how truly amusing that is! hehe....could i play the piano or guitar, too please??? i can't stop laughing.... too too funny i LOVE it! |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Michael- i'm in agreement w/ the others...this rocks!  Paul is a wonderful and verytalented musician...and you "deer" man are a very talented poet. your words and wisdom never cease to amaze me. into my libary, this one goes..."a place to fit"--loved this I did. take care amy "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
'Deer this is absolutely truly fabulous, I can hear the music and the back up artists now. Love this one, fabulous, and my are you a great writer. Mon cheri 'Deer et tu pas excellence, n'est pas? Qui certainment!! (When I'm really impressed the french accent seemed to become very marked )Absolutely excellant and I love it Take care love as always Bubbles Well, it's either that or pick any one of them. Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Michael I have to say your right there! I'll give Paul a call and see if I can arrange a collaboration date....no, seriously I really liked the flow and style I think you're right there......great fun to read this kind of thing it's what I like so much! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is fabulous, Michael!! Great expression! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hey Balladeer, I'd say get a bigger chair or lose a little weight. Excellent write. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'past mistakes got no return looking for some small space ease my mind a bit' LMAO@Seymour! This is an excellent write, though, Balladeer! I really enjoyed it, and relate to it, as well! sp  everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips... every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ Right here will do nicely !  A perfect fit ! *Hugs* ~*Me*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
.gif) .gif) here ya go Dor ... rofl we look good dont we  [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 02-18-2001).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
LOL!!!! JM!! yeah, we sure do... what a great fit! hehe... i can't stop laughing.... the mardi gras girls... *g.... i bet he likes to have a back-up group... y'think? i LOVE it!!! whoops... i forgot this was the Balladeer's thread... got carried away... how you like us now, michael?  |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, if you're looking for a place to fit I think you've found it. Loved this for too many reasons to count but mostly for the first verse. write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I truly enjoyed this style on you Michael ... so very Paul Simonish ... you evoked such a wonderful tune in my mind. I loved the consistent rhyme through the 3rd and 5th lines, and the final rhymes with the last lines to the chorus. It flowed beautifully with the images you composed. Another masterpiece from you my 'deer! Best wishes, /Kit |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this is my kinda piece! I'm a people-watcher, and this hit me right |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Balladeer~ this is so spot on.........so true. I liked this very much and now maybe tomorrow I'll be getting Paul's CD instead of Macy Gray's............... SEA |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
Mr. Deer, I have never heard the song from Paul, but will have to get it if it comes chose to this fine verse! Boy, does it fit in with my life. Loved it and can't sing, dance or snap fingers, but can listen real good and clap!!!! |
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