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Wintergone
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Wintergone |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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©2001 Christopher Ward paled grays and chalky hues of loneliness. as a euphemism, Winter sucked the marrow right out of my resolve. and it grew cancerous, spreading lesions of apathy through veins, covered only by calloused ridges of embittered resignation, all of it - tainted by greasy smears of hope. they say there’s beauty in Winter. right. all I found were barren trees and rotted pine, suffocating beneath plain black clouds dripping emptiness, each fat drop a nail into my miseries drip-drip-drip I found then, that you can’t yearn your way through a snowdrift of sorrow. You get frostbite when you try. so I was Cold. but the words, they bled so nicely. reddened rage - sticky, shamed, and salty. they coursed across the parchment, the only heat in a life of vain hope intermixed with anger, bitterness and dreams. or dreams of bitterness… I forget just now. not that it matters, pain is pain and dust are dreams, cracked beneath the ice. hollow and frozen, icicles forming… evident in reactions, my interactions, responses, and quietude. challenge me, love me, and I will do nothing more than break you, melt you. or even worse, ignore. but not out of spite. rather, survival. wounds warm slowly in Winter, the blood congeals over shattered stone. facades crumble and are rebuilt, only to fail an in-depth examination. so – back away, ski across inanities to evade the blaze of truth. because, snow-capped peaks offer no reflection, but Flame does. can you run? I could. and did. but even you must catch up with yourself, when what you fear is that which you desire most. when did it turn to spring? a moment first, then later it all changed an eye blink of time across a distance. she spoke, I fell. in a cabin of solitude I peered through the window at a glossy frame of the wilderness Past, while she streaked the window with a solvent of Smile - cleaning a swath across Winter, emblazoning Spring in a streak of happiness. shafts of Summer sunlight dancing around the sarcophagus to curl me in with analogies and metaphors of a goddess' love. they pierced the longing and clove the demons twain. I think there was pain, but that too, I can’t remember. no, the words don’t bleed for warmth anymore. instead they sing, of Wintergone. [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
This is very nice. I have read it twice. It's snowing outside... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"I found then, that you can’t yearn your way through a snowdrift of sorrow. You get frostbite when you try." --this made me smile...reminded me of "cope." and? "but even you must catch up with yourself, when what you fear is that which you desire most." Beauty here, Lord Christopher....at least? that is what you've always told ME...smiles to you. Lovely HUGS to me distant brother...grin. |
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Gothkitty Junior Member
since 2001-02-05
Posts 32Australia |
Excellent work, I loved this its wonderful  gk |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Well, this made me cry. I'm a girl like that, I guess. You don't post enough. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I found then, that you can’t yearn your way through a snowdrift of sorrow. You get frostbite when you try. so I was Cold. but the words, they bled so nicely. reddened rage - sticky, shamed, and salty. they coursed across the parchment, the only heat in a life of vain hope intermixed with anger, bitterness and dreams. or dreams of bitterness… I forget just now. not that it matters, pain is pain and dust are dreams, cracked beneath the ice. ================== she spoke, I fell. in a cabin of solitude I peered through the window at a glossy frame of the wilderness Past, while she streaked the window with a solvent of Smile - cleaning a swath across Winter, emblazoning Spring in a streak of happiness. shafts of Summer sunlight dancing around the sarcophagus to curl me in with analogies and metaphors of a goddesses love. they pierced the longing and clove the demons twain. I think there was pain, but that too, I can’t remember. no, the words don’t bleed for warmth anymore. instead they sing, of Wintergone. =================== very very cool write poet sir ... impressive vocabulary and verbiage... and masterful use and display of metaphor there are many very cool lines in this bittersweet reflection.... "that you can’t yearn your way through a snowdrift of sorrow." and your right ... the words do indeed..."bleed nicely" way cool writing Chris, (and your witty construct-critique quote made me LOL)  Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
YES!!!!!! WOw, what a piece of writing this is my friend. Seems it's summer in your soul now no matter what the weather The imagery and metaphores in this one are incredible Loved it , if you didn't guess already ~ Ruth www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Nice? Nice? It's a masterpiece in feeling, emotion and expression. I can't remember when I've read a piece of writing as slowly as I did this one! Every word so rich in imagery and depth. I actually shivered through.... now, as far as critique? The only thing I would offer is maybe cutting down on some of the prepositional phrasing, which I myself, am prone to do. Other than that BRAVO!!!!!!! "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
A superb piece, lovely read. The only nit I saw, -goddesses- should be goddess' as you mean possessive not plural. I really like the flow of this and many do say to cut out adjectives, but I love the descriptors. Of course, I use them in my stuff, too. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Chris you've outdone yourself! Never before have I seen it written quite like this. You've done an EXCELLENT job with your metaphors and imagery. If I could find a word more befitting than excellent, I would use it here. Just astounding work Chris. You blew me away! |
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emily Member
since 2000-10-03
Posts 142USA |
I don't think you would have any problem melting snow!! I liked this very much! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy the read |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Christopher, this echoes of so much emotions, they seem to race through your veins, rapidly as a river, wow I'm in awe, I to have missed your poems, welcome back. Hope to see more. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Hey - thank y'all for your support and appreciation (change from goddesses to goddess' noted and enacted - thank you!). I know I don't get in here much, but look at that as a positive thing - as long as I'm not writing poetry, odds are that I AM writing prose. C |
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