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losing my mind
| Open Poetry #12 |
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losing my mind |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods 
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Above, it seemed, their faces hung, Cloud highlights on their cheekbones, Azure shadows ‘cross insightful brows. I was five and felt my spirits in a field of daises... Happy, hopping, spreading my glad fingertips to their smiles, warming in the sun. Compliments sprinkled down on my hair like petals from a shaken cherry tree. I was learned beautiful, Came to expect it. The gods would brush my hair, and smooth it with a bedtime palm, kiss my cheek and make me watch for intelligence in my dreams. And the bronze globe above my crib reflected me golden, stuck to my skin, till it was written in my eyes and I believed it would always be there, like water, like gravity and parents. Silly, I thought the gifts were just given, like showers for the earth, and thunder. Thought I would have brightness, no matter... But age taught me to polish. To run until my shins ached and my feet throbbed against the threads of my new shoes, my lungs raked inside by glass. To eat only what would keep me breathing and vomit the rest. Age also taught me to unneed the luster, and I became myself outside. But inside, the radiance that stood relatives in their tracks, that hushed my mother with sharp understanding, that read thick picture books at two-years-old Kept a glow about it, but turned it’s focus down until there was but a shadows’ shadow tickling the edges of my conclusions. And I didn’t recognize that, of all things, little girl's cleverness was evaporating. Stuttering over pronunciations, losing the ability to argue, to explain, while the workings inner-wise twisted intricate, massed themselves until the channels that used to vibe off her tongue locked themselves in tangles... as though her body was growing concave, intellect following. And now, as some fantastic, bizarre mute, I still feel five in a field of daises, my fingers stretched out for the grace of gods, for some golden globe that would grant me full language: to splatter words along my arms and eyelashes, like showers for the earth; and through my heart, like thunder. Until then, writing, but barely bringing out a murmur of within. But Wait I will, I will stand and spin in circles, tongue hanging out, waiting for the rain to the hit the ground. I know, I know... but had to get it out, so thanks.  *sigh* love you guys. ~Beth [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 02-03-2001).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Excuse me Ms Cor ... but this is ANYTHING but a whine ... and before I begin truly telling you the awe I feel after reading this ... I would want .. no ... need ... to ask you to edit out that footnote ... while I understand its reasons ... its does this amazing piece a great unjustice that being sincerely said .... allow me to get me knee pads....you know.. for worship mode ...I'll be back ... Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Wow. Okay. *Blip* Done. Better? Janet Marie, thank you much, kind poet. I find it continually amazing to just pour things out my ears and hear people tell me how gosh darn wonderful it is. *sigh* And yet, there's understanding, and THAT makes me want to run back here. & omg, I love your quote ..lol.. My gratitude, sincerely, I don't think I deserve half the recognition I get here (maybe THAT'S why I really keep runnin' back ). Knowing you 'get' this... keeps my world spinnin', ya know? *sigh* I DO love you guys... ~a muchly Beth |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I was learned beautiful, Came to expect it. The gods would brush my hair, and smooth it with a bedtime palm, kiss my cheek and make me watch for intelligence in my dreams. And the bronze globe above my crib reflected me golden, stuck to my skin, till it was written in my eyes and I believed it would always be there, like water, like gravity and parents. ======================== To eat only what would keep me breathing and vomit the rest. Age also taught me to unneed the luster, and I became myself outside. But inside, the radiance that stood relatives in their tracks, that hushed my mother with sharp understanding, that read thick picture books at two-years-old ==================== And I didn’t recognize that, of all things, little girls’ cleverness was evaporating. Stuttering over pronunciations, losing the ability to argue, to explain, ================= And now, as some fantastic, bizarre mute, I still feel five in a field of daises, my fingers stretched out for the grace of gods, for some golden globe that would grant me full language: ========================= Until then, writing, but barely bringing out a murmur of within. But Wait I will, I will stand and spin in circles, tongue hanging out, waiting for the rain to the hit the ground. =========================== "Until then, writing, but barely bringing out a murmur of within." dear poetess ... if this is a mere murmur .. I want to witness the poetic scream ... I dont know where to start... the imagery is as profound as the emotions are wrenchingly honest. "And the bronze globe above my crib reflected me golden, stuck to my skin, till it was written in my eyes" the use of metaphor is equal to the inner ache this confesses of ... This struck me deeply ... you have eloquently, in free verse profound ... written my best friend in high schools life.. and many many other womens as well I'm sure. Written at such a level ... the reader forgets to breath while witnessing this ones light. you're anything but a "bizzare mute" darlin ... this gifted write proves that. very, very impressive work. thank you. take care, please jm |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: beth... these lines especially stood out for me... this piece is full and rich and exploratory.... it is a digging into memory and a view surrounding the beginning and midst of the struggle.... (the eating thing? well... that one hit me hard... but at least i'm back in my size 8 jeans... LOL).... anyway... this is a powerful work and i'm so proud to read this and know a poet who delves in deep to harvest images, pain, joy, and the reality of it all into words which hit so hard... thanks for the read, you pig! ROFL *wink*  hehe |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
So here I am, drinking the last tablespoons of Dreyers sherbert out of the container. It was solid a half an hour ago. It was also the last fourth of a half gallon a half an hour ago. See, I bought the darn thing to ward me off the mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer that other persons in the house can eat without worry of fitting into their jeans the next week. Problem is, if I'd just have one scoop of the friggin' mint chocolate chip, I wouldn't be DRINKING sherbert because no matter how much I eat I can't drown the chocolate chip mint cravings. But at least I won't throw it up later. Instead, I'll lick clean the spoon and the upper parts of the tub that my tongue can reach. Somehow I call this progress. I wanna pig smilie. For more than one reason now. LOL. doreen, yeah, my favorites too.(how'd you do that???) I think you already know that it means A LOT to hit you hard. (and doesn't even make my hand sting, hehe!) ~Miss Piggy |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is a fantastic piece of writing....... "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Thank you, Kathleen. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
i'm wallowing in mud......... ....... nice work |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Nothing short of perfection, as your work always is, Elizabeth.... |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Hmm... I don't know... thought this was more of a 5 foot 8 poem, myself...but you never can tell from down here. Thank you, 'Deer. Though I'm sure you'd retract that statement if you could see some of the things I’ve hidden on my hard drive. Brings new meaning to the word: WOW. lol... Take care. ~Beth |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
so now you're losing your mind too??? Sheesh. . . what is this place an asylum?? LOL seriously. . . this is excellent. . . says the kinds of things that are unexpected. . .challenges you to think. . . which is what I believe all poetry should do. . . it leaves an impression on the reader that even though you're older in age. . . you still feel pretty young in experience. . . and you yearn for more. . . to grow, to know. . . to feel, to touch. . . that's a good thing. . . Ok. . . session over. . . that will be $100 and you can schedule your next appointment with doreen my secretary. . . LOL  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. [This message has been edited by Sven (edited 02-05-2001).] |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
$100 for a blindingly wrong interpretation? What kind of buisness IS this?  |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
beth, Dr. Sven has an opening next tuesday, 3PM. Will that be convenient for you? please let us know. (he's the BEST, isn't he?) ....but we must inform you that he will not be able to help with the pig problem. For that, you might need Eye Movement Desensitation (er, desensitization? hmmm... sorry, i'm just a sexratary... hehe).... We'll email you a link.... it's very effective for post traumatic stress syndrome which is quite similar to the problems you are now having, according to Dr. Sven. Thank you . Go in peace [This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 02-04-2001).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Oh. Thanks Sven. Here I was thinking it was about mint chocolate chip sexual fantasy... damn |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Uhm, Chris, I believe THAT post is in Adult... your sisters all complained about it. Though Sharon was pretty stoked to hear you had a cute butt.  p.s. doreen, it used to be I thought my pig problem gave me personality (oo! Down pun! Down!), until one day somebody told me: "Beth, you're not complex, you're just *asteriks* up." *sigh* I. Just. Can't. Win. [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (edited 02-04-2001).] |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Hey, any time Christopher. . . anything to help. . . thank you doreen. . . now, if you'd like to step in my office for a moment, I need you to help me hook this patient up to the machine. . . Um. . . blindingly wrong Beth?? Well fine. . .  I'll just take my copy of Jung and go home. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Is it my imagination, or do many of us poets write about "insanity"  ha ha"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Secret Whisper Member
since 2001-01-25
Posts 298Through the Looking Glass |
This was not only beautifully written, but very impressive imagery as well! My compliments! ~Alison~ "Close your eyes, and you'll see." |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
kathleen... it is not your imagination... nope... sven was right... for some of us here, it is an asylum... you see, after you spend enough time escaping reality at passions, some people forget totally about reality because, y'know? who needs it? that's what i'd like to know. frankly, i don't need ANYTHING but passion... er, passions.... i often forget to eat and sleep which is a true sign of addiction and some have turned into pigs, so i've heard... but, not to fret, beth has it all under control... she has identified her inability to handle reality, realizes she is going insane and is seeking help from the very fine dr. sven.... as for me? well, i'm good with the appointment book but if he makes me go into the office and deal with that machine.... i may start rambling some very inappropriate poetry for the open forum.... and beth? - please please please, whatever you do, don't be late for your appointment.... (shhhhh.... the machine, you know! *GASP*) |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Elizabeth, I have read and reread this...and it is a wonderful insight into your mind. You are not only a beauty on the outside, but the truth is what you show coming from within and I for one am in awe of someone as young as you writing so well, and I love this if you haven't realized that yet...this will be in my favorites saved... ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
this is great, really great, different, and honest, I really like it |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Aw, come on, guys it's not that great. ...machine? *flinch* Like the one my ex-girlfriend use to use? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
no. . . not like your ex-girlfriend used to use. . . . . . *sigh*. . . doreen. . . just make sure that the waiting room is quiet please. . . I'm having some difficulty in here. . . you might have to come in here and help me. . . thank you. . . ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Hey there,...thought I'd stop in and leave some thoughts on this. Firstly, this write is the type that deserves time. To wholly absorb, to soak up any and all that is leaking from it. One in which I found myself immersed in. Take these bits for example: "and I believed it would always be there, like water, like gravity and parents", "But age taught me to polish", "Stuttering over pronunciations, losing the ability to argue, to explain, while the workings inner-wise twisted intricate, massed themselves until the channels that used to vibe off her tongue locked themselves in tangles... as though her body was growing concave, intellect following.", "And now, as some fantastic, bizarre mute, I still feel five in a field of daises, my fingers stretched out for the grace of gods, for some golden globe that would grant me full language: to splatter words along my arms and eyelashes, like showers for the earth; and through my heart, like thunder.", *And the final bit,...(which explodes in my head),... "Until then, writing, but barely bringing out a murmur of within." Ouch! Damn! Yes! Why?! I get it! I do! (This line)(I think). ~Thank you EC for posting this piece of you. I admire your ability to express, to breathe through your words and to reach. Take care. *Peace. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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emily Member
since 2000-10-03
Posts 142USA |
I'm already nuts, I just dont have time to read much!! No, ya'll got me scared!! Emily |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Well, all I could say has been said above, and I agree. This was excellent, and I LOVE the way you write! I also admit that it takes more than one read to get everything out of it. I like that about it too!  |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy the read |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
nope...I AM LOSING MY MIND. Where have I BEEN? You continue to amaze me...shaking my head over here....into my library! " Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot |
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