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Open Poetry #12
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the real me??
| Open Poetry #12 |
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the real me?? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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*thanks to doreen peri for the idea* is there really such a thing as the "real" me? and if there is, where is she? living my "real" life? because this life that I'm living can't be real it's too strange to be real it's got to be fiction these words, this heart oh yes, this heart you know, the one that you say you know? this heart that I've thrown up against the wall just to have it scatter into a million pieces that no one will pick up? well, you say you will, but you don't have to, it's not "real". . . or is it? this soul they've got to be made up because who in their right mind would want to really live a life like this? you say that you know me because of the words that I write but who says that I'm writing my life? who says that I'm writing my heart or my soul or anything that even resembles me? you? do you really know me? probably not because if you really did know me, you'd know that I don't write of the life that I have I write of the life that I want the life that could be mine if only I could get out of this one because remember? my life is fiction but the only problem with my life being fiction is that I'm not the writer I have no say over what happens and when it's up to someone else and let me tell you that they're doing a really bad job it if were me writing this one, I would have definitely made it better well, at least I would have made this part better done a major revision. . . yes, quite major and I would have definitely made my character more interesting. . . well, at least more interesting to me because I'm the one that has to go through this don't you feel lucky? all you have to do is sit back and watch as I go through the highs and the lows watch me give the performance of a lifetime the only thing is that I won't win an award for this one no teary-eyed speeches or thanking God or my mother or anyone like that no, my only reward will be trying to keep myself sane while all those around me go infinitely crazy. . . and insane. . . and whatever else I can make them do oh yes, that's right, I'm not the writer consider yourself lucky because if I were writing you, I would definitely write you out of my life that way, I'd spare myself the pain you caused me, I'd free myself of the anger that came when you left I'd be a different person I'd be the one that exists in the real story of my life you know, the one where I get everything that I should have? the happiness the satisfaction the love but, that's right, this isn't my real life. . . this is the other one. . . so, you think you know so much where is the real me? in these words? in these lines? on this page? in this picture? in between these lines? no! remember, those aren't me! those are fiction they just look like they’re my life to you because I'm that good. . . I can make you think that my life is something that is full of love and life I can make you feel that I'm in love and show you my heart I can make you cry my tears and laugh at my jokes I can make you feel my pain and live at my touch I can make you feel all of those things but they're not really me. . . they're fiction. . . so, I'm going to ask you again. . . where is the real me? you think you know yet? still not sure? I don't think that you're looking hard enough or maybe you’re just like everyone else you don't want to look you'd rather see the "fake" me, the one that I present here to you every day the one that you would know and love well, the truth hurts. . . so stop ignoring it I'm over here in the corner and I'm lonely and afraid and cold and alone and I'm scarred and I'm scared and tired and worn and blank and I'm lonely still love me? I didn't think so don't worry my "fake" self will be back soon sorry for showing you the "real" me. . . ------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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| © Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Oh my goodness this is brilliant writing SVEN... I couldn't read fast enough as the creativity and flow of the poem just held me captive till I found myself rite at the end... ^5 PoetFriend, and a thank you to Doreen for the idea... *~coco~* [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 01-26-2001).] |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Oh Sven, I find this so sad. No I don't know the real you but I do hope someone will find you and could help you live a life of love and be appreciated for the wonderful poet you are. Now if this is just a bunch of words that sounded good on paper then I suggest you and doreen peri get together and find HELP!!!!! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
well, sven, i'm glad my poem called "never mine" where i crucified myself and bled all over the internet superhighway in public because i can never find real love to last inspired you! LOL thanks for the tribute!! ROFL... but y'know? i've been saying for DAYS i've lost my mind and people don't seem to believe me so i'll just let everyone know that you were kind enough to email me this before you posted it to share it with me and i'll copy and paste my email response back to you because it's easier than retyping it... and here it is... doreen responds - "well, john, it was an interesting read but sounded a little crazy! LOL.... didn't quite know what to make of it, but hey, that's what makes for creative poetry!!! happy to inspire you. take care and thanks!  -d"ok... keep writing about who you are and if you figure it out, let me know and if you read me and figure out who I am, let me know that, too because obviously we are both very confused.... hehe *wink* and yes, this was quite creative though i still don't know what it means after 3 readings.... *sigh*.... are you trying to be like me? nobody understands my poetry either *sob nice work, sven  |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Sven, Wow!! This is incredible! I had to read it over and over again. I don't know about the "fake" you, which we have all had to put on that facade for sanity'sake, but the real you harbors a beauty that cannot be hidden, as your heart's light shines too brilliantly to ever not be real and genuine. Loved it... Much love, Elise |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Sven dear heart, do any of us know the real part of anyone? Or only what we want them to see of ourselves. Actually I believe and it may be totally untrue, that no matter how hard you try to show a fake you the real one seeps through. For example the real you has a soul that is threaded through with such beauty that angels weep when they read your words. The real you has the ability to move people to tears, to smiles, to ecstacy, and no amount of fake glitter and gilt could do that. Not consistently, the real uncaring part would leak through. As for this piece it is outstanding, it truly is stunning, creatively it is awesome, and of course I love it. So do I know the real you? I would say that yes I know you pretty well, and the real you is a treasure. Take care love as always Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I really hate to be boring and say this for maybe the 1000th time, but GOD have I ever said this to myself, so many times. Who is living this life anyway, its not me. I was supposed to be happy.. You said this so incredibly well, I am still stunned from the read. Hang in their, I for one, may not know the whole entire real you, but what I have seen is very special, and maybe someday your life will catch up and give you the things you deserve. Luv, Sandra |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Here's something to really think about Sven does one ever know the real self? not all I don't think sometimes we find it in extreme circumstances, sometimes we find the real self when it's to late, Sometimes someone that is a complete stranger may spark a part of us that has been hidden forever and comes leaping out, but in true life, it's better to be oneself that way your not always playing a role for these roles tend to grow tiresome after awhile, like watching repeats on the tv screen, yes it's fun for awhile but then gets boring. So why not show your true colors from the beginning at least a few at a time. I loved this really brings out life in us all. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Sven, do we ever see the real you...or the real me or the real anyone...and where is the happy ever after I was promised are you living it for me...am I living it for someone else...how can I wear the shoe when it doesn't fit and how can I make it fit when it's not mine. Profound and worrying write you could get lost in it as I did. write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Never apologize for any part of you. All we or anyone else can do is deal with it. Wonderful outpouring of mood and other self, Sven. (((HUGS))) Hey..you need them right? *Jenn* |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
What a great approach and full of such variances of format. This is excellent writing Sven! The truth is the poet's armour of survival in a world of adjectives and metaphors floating throught the magic dust of connected thoughts.....well done my friend! WELL DONE! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
bump! hehe... things are getting bumpy around here... great poem, sven! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
thanks to everyone that's replied. . . this just came out after reading doreen's poem "never mine". . . and reading the responses about our lives being "fiction". . . so, I tried to take this from the pov of being the subject in the hands of the writer. . . and what I would do if I was the writer. . . and this is the result. . . is this the "real me"?? or is this fiction too?? well, it's a little of both. . . thanks again for reading. . . and thanks again to doreen for her inspired writing and for inspiring me. . . -------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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