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Open Poetry #11
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Love's Steel Trap
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Love's Steel Trap |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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in the drizzle of a day the matter of a wash of gray and heartstring tugs from this to that a tempering of love's steel trap bouquet of daisies from my girls kindness colors hugs in whirl a bridal gown behind the glass my reflection fading fast I just can't see that wearing me... enraged, I longed to wander, free, back to days of mispent ways just a knapsack on my back and no one else to please... and they asked "you like this style?" "sure..." I lied, in wicked smile. "There's but one thing that this one lacks-- tell me, does it come in black?" I thought I laughed, but out came cry-- as I gazed at my demise. A shroud of beauty a vision's bleed to finally bury what's left of me... I left, ignoring puzzled stares. I wept, abhoring what wasn't there. I cannot do this. I will not lie. I cannot marry-- for I have died. If it's all about the gold, then why don't I just sell my soul? (I know, I know, I'm growing old...) but damn it all-- I'm growing... |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is absolutely the best! A Winner! Superb! So many great lines, I loved them all! No kidding. What a ride you took me on! ALL OF IT! and yes, you're still GROWING! More, please! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Just blow me out of the water, serenity one!! Man!! What a trip...and you are AWESOME!! Yes, you are growing - on me!!!  This was exhausting! |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Serenity, this is spectacular  and thank you for the great Friday afternoon read |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
serenity- WOW!!!! This is awesome!! such depth of emotion in this... and i felt it all as i read. an amazing write!! hugs to you, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You are getting so good at this!!! Leaving me breathless and wanting more! Love how you tell a tale.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I thank you all so much--your kindness is much appreciated....as always...and I know that sounds stale, but I don't mean it that way--you guys are fantastic...I only wish you were here so I could "talk" you awake...lol.. LOVE to you all....special people!!! |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
This is awesome, absolutely wonderful!!! Pepper "A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth." Percy Bysshe Shelley |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
s'en, Absolutely splendid, but you knew that didn't you. Written from the heart and thank God you're still growing.Write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
kethry, pepper, thank ye much...(I think I've an allergy to wedding gowns...sigh) they just make me feel itchy and claustophobic...lol...(think he's gonna buy that?) thanks and hugs! argghhhhh.... |
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Passions Voice Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 291Michigan |
It does look like that you are growing. Excellent poem. passion is life. . . ~Diana |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
My friend, yes you are continually growing and you are very deeply rooted in this cowboy's heart as a much cherished angel and friend. No-one and I do mean no-one can write with the depth of yesterday riding on the wings of tomorrow better than you. Hugs my sweet friend. |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Well done Serene, Whens the day dear you must tell Great job, can you match it with your explanation to him? Rich |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Diana, and Mark m'angelheart---thank you much...and Rich? I've got a list! 1. I forgot? 2. I don't want to rush into anything. 3. I am already secretly married. 4. and how about just, hell no? LOL..and hugs to all...now please people, go ahead and cook your rice...they'll be NONE of that, thank you! ROFL.... [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 11-20-2000).] |
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Rainydays Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324 |
Serenity, this piece is clever, well written and obviously personal. Very nice. Thank you ~ Rainydays |
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