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Open Poetry #11
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I Mistook You For Heaven
| Open Poetry #11 |
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I Mistook You For Heaven |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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I Mistook You For Heaven Early morning whispers dry, rub the sleep, pray to keep you where you are, too far now, too far from where I am, dangling above the reasons. Silence speaks in truths unfolded and stains newborn air. Could it matter, that Heaven remains outside of you and where you've gone,...too far? I told you not to lose me along the way, and now I've found the seams I've overlooked, remember, it was you that I mistook. And it takes too long to forget. That's two handed years of remembering, and all the smiles in glass jars peeking, and tears in vases staining blue. It was you, binding all the touches sweet, blowing understandings astray, it's just your way. Now in these spotted hours, blurred, your grasp is failing you from me, as the reality slaps me,...insane. I mistook you,...for Heaven,...again. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 11-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
this smiles at me in a sad sort of way.... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
SpitFire, Interesting, I enjoyed the read. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
"and the smiles in glass jars peeking and tears in vases staining blue....... as the reality slaps ne..insane I mistook you,...for heaven,... again." Wonderful work ...very deep moving emotional poem with these excellent metaphors roaming all the way through it making the mood strong........loved it!! |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
spitty I love the concept and the execution was great |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
And it takes too long to forget. That's two handed years of remembering, and all the smiles in glass jars peeking, and tears in vases staining blue. It was you, binding all the touches sweet, blowing understandings astray, it's just your way. Now in these spotted hours, blurred, your grasp is failing you from me, as the reality slaps me,...insane. I mistook you,...for Heaven,...again. =================== OH my..this is EXCELLENT... there are so many cool lines in this what an emotive piece.. you write my heart with this one...so many mirrors... this is so well written and expressed and that last line...perfect poetry jm |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
 Hmm...Very deep. The whole thing makes me think of an old flame...especially the last line. Well done, my friend!With a little piece of tomorrow, You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye. Because today won't last forever, And the past will only make you cry. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Hi ya "Spit"...how in the health are ya? Yanno?, women say this to me all the time, "I mistook you for heaven"....then, after they got to know me....well, they found out I was pretty much hell....but I do like the poem |
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krysalis Junior Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 22 |
A bittersweet poem that stirred up lots of feeling... makes for an excellent piece! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Fire, inspiring and devestating all in the same breath.  Write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh wow, this is so sad, and I can understand the feeling, it has happened to me twice, within a marriage. And here and there elsewhere, too. You put this together perfectly. I wish you were feeling happier, though. Sandra |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
SpitFire--this is so well done...I really enjoy your poetry! |
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