Feeble attempt at "I AM - pipTalk Forums

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spiked
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 873
Hammond, La USA

0 posted 2001-01-04 08:12 PM

I am
At a loss for things to say

I am
Bewildered by lack of things to convey

I am
Scared of my heart grown so cold
Blistered by the shadow that it cast

I am
Only part of what I can be
Yet lack the desire to be all that I am

I am
Not what you see
But all that you don’t

I am
A chameleon changing with life
Re-forming myself as I search to find
What I am

I am
Without another day
Having wasted it on an empty heart.

I give
What am I?

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-01-04 08:40 PM

"I give
What am I?"

A tough question... one that many of us have asked and few of us have answered. Challenge well met!

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav

Daniel J D
Senior Member

since 2000-10-01

Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia

2 posted 2001-01-04 08:42 PM

Spiked,
Superb attempt. Well done.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

3 posted 2001-01-04 09:36 PM

SPIKED, I must say this is a fantastic write and I appreciated the way you wrote this as it has a way to speak beyond words on blue screen if that can make any sense to you because that is how your writing here has touched me...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2001-01-05 01:16 AM

Rich...ya made me smile...without even trying? You wrote an excellent piece describing the uncertainty of identity. I don't think any of us really knows who we are...this is excellent.

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

5 posted 2001-01-05 01:29 AM

You've done this excellently. Enjoyed the read.

Poeminister

Lady Lightning
Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 422
Kentucky

6 posted 2001-01-05 01:45 AM

A FEEBLE attempt??? I hardly think so..You did this wonderfully..I read it again, and again..and will read it even more later...Very good RIch.... ~LL~

The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

7 posted 2001-01-05 01:51 AM

this isnt feeble, this is wonderful....alot of people cant say "who they are" you said this nicely, I am learning.....

Greeneyes~

***

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

8 posted 2001-01-05 01:57 AM

If only I could feel free to go beyond the given parameters when facing a challenge. You were brave...after all, if one is going to try to describe/know him/herself, isn't an attempt at reaching the truth the important part. I really enjoyed this. It's the first one I've read and I like it so much more than my own!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

9 posted 2001-01-05 06:26 AM

I am
Not what you see
But all that you don’t

...it's funny (strange) but I liked everyone's I read better than my own...this was to VAS above...and yes yours was excellent too..*s

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

10 posted 2001-01-05 06:42 AM

I am
Not what you see
But all that you don’t

Enjoy..rich...i like those words too as wynter did..thanks for joining in the challenge..

~V~

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

11 posted 2001-01-05 07:36 AM

oh my.....my.....love this piece man...
read it several times.

love it...

((hugs))
Charisma

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

12 posted 2001-01-05 09:24 AM

Rich,
loved this, but I'm afraid I would have been so tempted to write "I am aren't I" after reading your work. So I'm saying NOTHING!

write on
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

13 posted 2001-01-05 09:47 AM

I say, you have said it well. You are many things rolled into one.
The gift to write is clearly seen.
Deb

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

14 posted 2001-01-05 11:32 AM

really enjoyed this! loved the ending...

"I give"! indeed....

i gave up a long time ago trying to figure out who i am.... i just am... me!!! LOL... no, not feeble, this is good writing... thanks for the read...

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

15 posted 2001-01-05 08:43 PM

no, of course this isnt feeble..i looked at every line of yours and wonder how come i neevr penned such thoughts sooner...

I am
a chameleon changing with life
reforming myself as i search to find
what i am

i am constantly searching my identity too but i cant say i adapt easily to changes

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

16 posted 2001-01-05 08:52 PM

Feeble, you say?... I cant' wait to see a "real" effort then...

spiked
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 873
Hammond, La USA

17 posted 2001-01-05 10:04 PM

Thank you all so very much. Sorry it took me so long to respond but was pleasantly surprised to see such a large responce.
Again Thank You
Rich

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