A Crack In The Song - pipTalk Forums

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jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2000-11-19 09:11 PM

A Crack In The Song

Soft
ly
fall
ing
Down,
D
o
w
n
beyond the
b
o
t
t
o
m
further,
further,
my heart,
my soul,
my life,
has reached
the end.
There's a crack in the song,
a warp in the wheel,
my head spins round,
round, and
d
o
w
n
down,
f
a
l
l
I
n
g
on my back
looking up;
sky dark,
empty,
nothing left...
noth...
ing
left.

Since you.

w. james beard, jr.

...I dunno, this is the way it looked when I opened my eyes!

[This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 11-19-2000).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-11-19 09:53 PM

Very creative! You've described it perfectly, too!

Denise

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2000-11-19 11:00 PM

James--I loved this...the form, the meaning...all...well done!

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

3 posted 2000-11-19 11:16 PM

Such a thin line... between having it all and loosing it all, kinda like the line between the sky and the earth. Bob <><

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

4 posted 2000-11-20 12:11 PM

JW* Wow....exactly! The format added so much
to the feel of this poem but the words alone
would have made for a powerful
statement...Excellent writing and thought
was put into this piece as always!!

You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

5 posted 2000-11-20 09:02 AM

Thanks Denise, Martie, Bob, and BDC, really glad you like the format. As a lot of us have...seem me in that position several times.

jwesley

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2000-11-20 10:08 AM

this
d
r
o
p
p
e
d
into my
heart...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

7 posted 2000-11-20 11:26 AM

very cool. nicely done woohoo

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

8 posted 2000-12-07 09:58 PM

this was a sheer pleasure to read...thanx for showing me sonething unique and i will try to incorporate such format into my writing now...

thanx for the read

[This message has been edited by kaile (edited 12-07-2000).]

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

9 posted 2000-12-07 10:08 PM

JWesley~
I really enjoyed this.
The presentation added to the impact of your thoughts.
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

dragonpoe
Senior Member

since 2000-11-12

Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida

10 posted 2000-12-16 12:39 PM

poetically wonderful, artistically superb. I've never been able to do cool stuff like this, it's puts a great spin on poetry

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

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