Open Poetry #11 |
That Softly Fluttering Butterfly |
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
That Softly Fluttering Butterfly Loving thee, even though thee walk paths far beyond my own, brightens my days, softens my nights, and if thee by chance happen to look my way, I feel such joy; such giddy, child-like happiness, and I fumble what 'ere my task. Given another time, a different place, thine face and mine might share a single space; our lips might touch, our arms embrace, our hearts be one, a single, beating, thought in time. But though my love thou will never know, as thee walk thine path beyond mine own, the warmth in the breeze, the softness in the grass, the rustle in the leaves, the song of the bird that catches thine ear, were sent by me. As days slip by, I watch, yet am unseen, and nights I spend in a lover's dream, where thou, my lady, lay next to me; hold my love, though thou know it not, for there I dance before thine eyes, that softly fluttering, butterfly. w. james beard, jr. © December 2000 w. james beard, jr. © December 2000 [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 12-17-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Wesley James Beard, Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You knew I would read this one James, not once, but twice, and keeping it safe by for a re-read when I'm ready to fall in like... Well done my friend... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*sigh* wonderful done......love is such a wonderful inspiration..... lovely penned. Charisma |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Lovely write... But"thee" in the second line felt awkard, at the opening of the poem...perhaps: "Loving thee, even though thou walkest paths far beyond my own," Just a suggestion... Enjoyed the read. take care, Poeminister < !signature--> "...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." -Poe [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 12-17-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Loving thee, even though thee walk paths far beyond my own, ================ Given another time, a different place, thine face and mine might share a single space; our lips might touch, our arms embrace, our hearts be one, a single, beating, thought in time. But though my love thou will never know, as thee walk thine path beyond mine own, the warmth in the breeze, the softness in the grass, the rustle in the leaves, the song of the bird that catches thine ear, were sent by me. ============== though thou know it not, for there I dance before thine eyes, that softly fluttering, butterfly. ============ you had me with the title ... its a given that the poem swept me ... exceptional, enchanting writing James. this ones a keeper for the treasure chest. jm Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
JWesley~ so soft......so beautiful.....major *SIGH* going on here...... -SEA |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Thank you Sunshine - I had hoped you'd like it. Charisma - yes, love IS wonderful! -------------------------------------------- Poeminister - Well, me and english don't understand one another real well, especially when speaking of parts of speech type....and especially when using these archaic types (when do you use thee vs thou, thy vs thine, etc.) so, if you, or anyone can shed some light here other than "felt awkward" as so much in english feels awkward but is correct, I would truly appreciate it. I can give this bit to maybe help you help me...as well as maybe to assist others in the usage of these words. I know this is pretty self-explanatory and I basically (I think) understand thy and thine usage but am still vague on thee and thou (heck - english in general!) THEE: Pronoun: Inflected forms: The objective case of thou. 1. a. Used as the direct object of a verb. b. Used as the indirect object of a verb. 2. Used as the object of a preposition. 3. Used in the nominative as well as the objective case, especially by members of the Society of Friends (Quakers). THOU: Pronoun: 1. Used to indicate the one being addressed, especially in a literary, liturgical, or devotional context. 2. Second person nominative singular personal pronoun. THY: Adjective: 1. The possessive form of thou. Used as a modifier before a noun. 2. Variant of thin, thine, from Old English thn. THINE: Pronoun: 1. (used with a singualr or plural verb) Used to indicate the one or ones belonging to thee. Adjective: 1. Inflected forms: A possessive form of thou. Used instead of thy before an initial vowel or h: "The presidential candidates are practicing the first rule of warfare: Know thine enemy." From Thy. Hopefully all that means more to you than to me. thanks....jimmy --------------------------------------------- JM - honored I am... SEA - I'll take all the *sighs* I can get... thank you my friend. [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 12-18-2000).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
James--So beautiful I'm floating! |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
What a pretty, pretty poem you have penned here..Sad yet beautiful..I love to read about love and it floats all over the page with this one...Great work...Loved it much... ~LL~< !signature--> The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown [This message has been edited by Lady Lightning (edited 12-18-2000).] |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* I need the fantasy of love to dream about today. Thank you so very much for this tender and beautiful poem. Much love to you from me. http://www.geocities.com/karenltorbiak/index.html |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
sigh a beautiful poem.. wonderfully soft images. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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kindasorta Member
since 2000-12-02
Posts 56 |
you know, 'those eyes', takes on a new meaning, just as the poem said, never know who's watching you!! ugh, scary! nice write and if this is how one gets the girls/guys, then who am I to gripe, would suggest good ole eye to eye contact as a back up. so enjoyed and it was truly a romantic poem. |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
I agree with poeminister. Perhaps....(maybe he said this) "Loving thee even though thou walks....." I am not a fan of old English myself. I do love old English lettering though! Robert PS: always read it out loud to see if it rolls.... rocks and rolls. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Jimmy, this was fabulous, wonderful, and I loved it. (Since when did Open, become C A, ) sorry the discussion is lost on me. I throughly enjoyed it and I can't say that when I read it aloud it didn't feel anything other that perfect. But maybe, that's me. Actually I can do C A, Kari's been teaching me, just watch. This poem is delightful, it's form is elegant, it's presentation exceptional and it has a superior feel. You see, I can do it. Love this one as always Take care Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Ohhhh you're too Marsha Mushy....I mean mushy Marsha!! Þ Robert |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Again, I thank all for their beautiful replies, and Mushy or not Marsha, thanks a bunch! And my comment about the "thee's" etc. was honest; I truly don't understand the usage, not sure I ever will. jwesley |
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