»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #11
»
In Between The Stars And Sin
| Open Poetry #11 |
|
In Between The Stars And Sin |
|
|
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
|
In Between The Stars And Sin When you magnify the little pieces of the world that splinter my skin in a dream, could it seem that rush, wrapped tightly, binding, 'round and around, constrict the hours of all I am? That in between the stars and sin are the recipes stirring, the meld of society and time and wasted youth. I know the truth, I spoke too soon. Too eager to burn and wring, to make it a point, to present to you the faces peeled in apple skins in twisting cores and when I flip my hair out of my eyes and look at you that way, I've traveled too far. It's just a reflection and any remedies considered don't exist and there I am, in between the stars and sin. All feathered up here and coasting, all whispered in satin tongue. It's like a surge of all the bluest oceans screaming and all the pretty fields on fire. I've misplaced my desire, and untied tales now swimming alone. It's a shied reality in little boxes breathing, bare in all it's honesty,... how absurd that I should be here. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You must have learned to write quickly with your pen on fire like that!!! I do particularly love your ending line...and these... "I spoke too soon. Too eager to burn and wring, to make it a point, to present to you the faces peeled in apple skins..." Nobody does this better. You are a treasure to read. |
||
|
Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
WOW SpitFire.... This is an absolutely fantastic piece! I agree with Serenity all the way  Excellent! ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I second the others, your pen was on fire when you wrote this one, but then it is burning as bright as it always does. Taking this one to the porch.  < !signature-->"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 12-17-2000).] |
||
|
maxtec1 Senior Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 577Garland, Tx |
WOw I enjoyed the read. Very good writing. Love and life to you. Richard |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I've traveled too far. It's just a reflection and any remedies considered don't exist and there I am, in between the stars and sin. All feathered up here and coasting, all whispered in satin tongue. It's like a surge of all the bluest oceans screaming and all the pretty fields on fire. I've misplaced my desire, and untied tales now swimming alone. It's a shied reality in little boxes breathing, bare in all it's honesty,... how absurd that I should be here. ==================== WAAAAAAAY COOOOOOLLLLL!!!!!! NOTHING absurd here my dear... again I say....NO FENCES for spitfire.. nothing cliche' or poetically over used... creative, innonvative, unique and fresh very cool ponderings ... very cool title must be one heck of a view from that porch very well done later-between cool and poetry-gator jm Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Spitfire, I think JM said it best. Enjoyed the read. |
||
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*WOW*.......count me in with the others....I agree with all above...love this penfire.. Charisma |
||
|
Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
SF, My friend, I knew you had it in you. This is a masterpiece!! Excellent work. These lines are awesome you: All feathered up here and coasting, all whispered in satin tongue. It's like a surge of all the bluest oceans screaming and all the pretty fields on fire. HUGS, LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice writing...James |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
There you are! Wow, what an amazing poem. Spectacular really. Hope things are ok for you. Sandra |
||
|
dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
spitfire..i think the wowwers have said it best! this is truly spectacular..and as was said above, very fresh, nothing overused!!! you have a way with a pen my friend..very awesome work! hugs, g "the beginning of wisdom is, 'i do not know'" -unknown |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful poem, SpitFire! Loved it all but especially these lines: It's like a surge of all the bluest oceans screaming and all the pretty fields on fire. I've misplaced my desire, and untied tales now swimming alone. Did you know you are one of my favorite poets? |
||
|
EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Just had to add my wow! to the list. "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
