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SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396


0 posted 2000-12-17 01:39 PM


In Between The Stars And Sin


When you magnify the little
pieces of the world that
splinter my skin in a dream,
could it seem that rush,
wrapped tightly, binding,
'round and around,
constrict the hours of all I am?
That in between the stars and sin
are the recipes stirring,
the meld of society and time
and wasted youth. I know the truth,
I spoke too soon.
Too eager to burn and wring,
to make it a point,
to present to you the faces
peeled in apple skins
in twisting cores and when I
flip my hair out of my eyes
and look at you that way,
I've traveled too far.
It's just a reflection and any
remedies considered don't exist
and there I am,
in between the stars and sin.
All feathered up here and coasting,
all whispered in satin tongue.
It's like a surge of all the
bluest oceans screaming and
all the pretty fields on fire.
I've misplaced my desire,
and untied tales now swimming alone.
It's a shied reality
in little boxes breathing,
bare in all it's honesty,...
how absurd that I should be here.



© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-12-17 01:44 PM


You must have learned to write quickly with your pen on fire like that!!! I do particularly love your ending line...and these...

"I spoke too soon.
Too eager to burn and wring,
to make it a point,
to present to you the faces
peeled in apple skins..."

Nobody does this better. You are a treasure to read.

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
2 posted 2000-12-17 01:51 PM


WOW SpitFire....
This is  an absolutely fantastic piece!
I agree with Serenity all the way  
Excellent!


~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-12-17 02:16 PM


I second the others, your pen was on fire when you wrote this one, but then it is burning as bright as it always does. Taking this one to the porch.   < !signature-->

"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith


[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 12-17-2000).]

maxtec1
Senior Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 577
Garland, Tx
4 posted 2000-12-17 02:16 PM


WOw I enjoyed the read. Very good writing.
Love and life to you.
Richard

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-12-17 02:57 PM


I've traveled too far.
It's just a reflection and any
remedies considered don't exist
and there I am,
in between the stars and sin.
All feathered up here and coasting,
all whispered in satin tongue.
It's like a surge of all the
bluest oceans screaming and
all the pretty fields on fire.
I've misplaced my desire,
and untied tales now swimming alone.
It's a shied reality
in little boxes breathing,
bare in all it's honesty,...
how absurd that I should be here.
====================
WAAAAAAAY COOOOOOLLLLL!!!!!!
NOTHING absurd here my dear...
again I say....NO FENCES for spitfire..
nothing cliche' or poetically over used...
creative, innonvative, unique and fresh
very cool ponderings ... very cool title
must be one heck of a view from that porch  
very well done
later-between cool and poetry-gator
jm

Some people find subtlety in strangers
if you find anything~let me in
Your eyes~you see everything
my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2000-12-17 03:05 PM


Spitfire,
I think JM said it best. Enjoyed the read.

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
7 posted 2000-12-17 05:20 PM


*WOW*.......count me in with the others....I agree with all above...love this penfire..

Charisma

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2000-12-17 05:23 PM


SF,

My friend, I knew you had it in you.  This is a masterpiece!!  Excellent work.  

These lines are awesome you:

All feathered up here and coasting,
all whispered in satin tongue.
It's like a surge of all the
bluest oceans screaming and
all the pretty fields on fire.


HUGS,
LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2000-12-17 05:25 PM


Very nice writing...James
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
10 posted 2000-12-17 09:02 PM


There you are! Wow, what an amazing poem. Spectacular really. Hope things are ok for you.
Sandra

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
11 posted 2000-12-17 09:32 PM


spitfire..i think the wowwers have said it best!  this is truly spectacular..and as was said above, very fresh, nothing overused!!!

you have a way with a pen my friend..very awesome work!

hugs, g

"the beginning of wisdom is, 'i do not know'"
-unknown

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2000-12-17 09:50 PM


Wonderful poem, SpitFire!  Loved it all but especially these lines:

It's like a surge of all the
bluest oceans screaming and
all the pretty fields on fire.
I've misplaced my desire,
and untied tales now swimming alone.

Did you know you are one of my favorite poets?

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
13 posted 2000-12-18 02:53 AM


Just had to add my wow! to the list.

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.


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