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Open Poetry #11
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Deerslayer
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Deerslayer |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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Quite stealthily, he moved along - path chosen carefully His eyes alert and open, constant vigilance the key. Magnificent with steady gait he calmly made his way The deer was quite a handsome sight on that cold winter day. The hunter stood not fifty yards from where the young buck stood With bow slung over shoulder, quivered arrows made of wood. He saw the deer move unaware of any presence there Then slipped and arrow in his bow and shot it through the air. It caught the deer straight in the heart. He fell without a sound. He wore a look of sheer surprise as he lay on the ground. He hadn't realized the danger...he had been fair game And now the game was over and he'd never be the same. The hunter smiled and sheathed his bow, approaching cautiously. His aim had been unerring as it always seemed to be. He looked down at the deer - poor thing had been such easy prey Then raised his hand in mock salute......and Cupid flew away. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I guess none of us are safe from the wounds that Eros can inflict, are we? Very well-written, my friend... as always. Thanks for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
you should only be struck down by the love bug.....or Cupid's arrow....you are a strong mighty buck, stand up and run for your life!!!!!!!!!!!  loved this one!"Always be a first rate version of your self instead of a second rate version of someone else." Marilyn Monroe |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
awww...this is just so touching. Whatever it is that you've been doing, keep it up!!! (am i bad? i yam...) This pure dynamite...and yanno? I'd like to ask your permission to use this as one of my selections for the Valentine's issue of Passions...lol. Say yes, o editor o mine! |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* yes, friend, it happens so unexpectedly and how I wish you would send cupid my way. *giggling* with a Deer taken by the arrows of love there needs be other pray for a Star who looks for this kind of hunter. Much love to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now I know why I keep my pasturelands clear of even Cupid's arrow...so that my deer may roam free across the range, so that I may enjoy their beauty... and their exquisite communication of the eye... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh my goodness ... you are on a roll Michael!!! My 'deer, you simply amaze me ... ya got me cryin' and laughin' and all turned about! Geez ... I was getting all misty-eyed for the loss of this poor dear (deer?) ... till you caught me on the final line, lol! Wonderful!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, I remember you mentioning the idea of this one. Glad you put it to pen and you did a grand job. The ending was perfect. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
well, the buck stops here, i 'spose, huh? ... er... umm... i mean, nice antlers! *boom* lol i had an egg nog, 'scuse me, ok, senor?  oh.... 'deer meat.. uh... i mean, Dear Me! i have no idea about hunting season, seriously, because i usually stay inside and keep my Dor locked when it's cold... gotta dodge those bullets, y'know?... but, as a side note, i did see this poor bambi on the road the other day... it was very sad...it really really made me cry... but then again, i cry at commercials so, what's up with that? you know, especially that commercial, "let's get mikey!".... used to make me weep every time... hehe... oh, geez, i'm rambling here but what of it? i've been rambling for ... oh, i guess... a year and a half now on these forums so nobody will know the difference... LOL... i crack myself up sometimes even though i have no idea what's funny... but what's wrong with a crack-up every now and then? huh? and all this to say.... excellent poem, Balladeer!oh, and i forgot to respond to the other one and i will, maybe, after this eggnog - so here's my vote for florida!! and that makes it 701!!! rofl... you are a really good poet, did i tell you that yet today? - all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry - |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Bravo!!! It seems that you are taking the throne of poet king from Mark!!! Long live the King!  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ This is a splendid piece of poetry. You are certainly inspired. Enjoyed this beauty very much. Sooooooo, just how is that quivered arrow? Love n' hugs n' stuff *wink* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Now Deer you can't expect me to believe the handsome deer wasn't aware he was fair game. Look at how many have been hunting this hunk of meat. Besides, I've seen her poems and answers to yours. I think it's wonderful that you can start your New Year with someone who loves you. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I happen to know Cupid personally... and I know for certain that shooting that deer was a total act of love... Cupid doesn't fly far away either..  Nice work, deer.. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
I have moved this comment into a new Topic thread - I worked very hard to show the world a side of 'Deer only few people have seen. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 12-12-2000).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Aw, shucks... I thought this was going to be an ode to Toe's expertise at keeping Deer (and moose-loving scallywag sailors) in line! LOL (And along with those thoughts were prayers that hunting season would again be year round instead of sporadic like it's been lately *G*) But instead... I find this excellent love poem. *S* Well done! And LOL @ LJA... brat! *G* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I need to build that library annex...sigh.... and I need someone sitting beside me to hit the right buttons when I respond... oh I need so much help... so many fine poets and so much poetry and it gets me all befuddled... I'm rambling... click... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 12-12-2000).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
love bug...no, we are not. He's a devil!!! Rose....you can run but ya can't hide!! serenity...keep it up? LOL! Of course you can use it....thank you! Startime...he's on the way. Getting that Canadian visa was tough!!! sunshine...the thought of a deer running through your pasture is a wonderful thought,,, Kit...venison on a roll? Sounds great!! I love to keep ya guessing Sy...thanks..yep, finally got it down. Glad you enjoyed!! Doreen....deer meat?? ROFL!!! You are ONE funny lady!!!! You should be writing for Saturday night live or speechwriting for Gore. He could sure use you!! Thanks for the laugh and the wonderful compliments deVine one...Mark can stay on the throne...I just like to write Marge....quivered arrow gave me the shaft!!...but I got the point!  Thank you, dear lady! inot2B....HOW DARE YOU.. be so observant? Nan....I know you do...he kept saying nan-a nan-a nan-a nan-a! LJA...I'm ready to show YOU a side of deer that few have ever seen!!! suthern...I've never seen the words "Toerag" and "expertise" in the same sentence! Your comments, however, are ALWAYS welcome!! sunshine...when you respond, the right buttons have been hit! Thank you for annexing me |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Hey 'deer...can I whisper an address in Cupids' ear? Could use a lil help along those lines myself... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
My deer...you know that word that's green and starts with a J...well I am  but I love this poem..so clever you are and all I can say is, what a way to go! |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
It is a legitamate sport - or occupation - or whateve those who do it call it - but I've lost my taste for venison, not that it was ever strong - (Still like 'moose' though...) anyhow - it is still a great poem |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
....."and Cupid flew away".... i just read this again and that last line really got to me.... you are a fine writer, Michael. you say so much so vividly..... |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Feels like you are the one shooting us with the arrows.............. -SEA |
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