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Open Poetry #11
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Balladeer
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0 posted 2000-12-11 10:12 PM



Quite stealthily, he moved along - path chosen carefully
His eyes alert and open, constant vigilance the key.
Magnificent with steady gait he calmly made his way
The deer was quite a handsome sight on that cold winter day.

The hunter stood not fifty yards from where the young buck stood
With bow slung over shoulder, quivered arrows made of wood.
He saw the deer move unaware of any presence there
Then slipped and arrow in his bow and shot it through the air.

It caught the deer straight in the heart. He fell without a sound.
He wore a look of sheer surprise as he lay on the ground.
He hadn't realized the danger...he had been fair game
And now the game was over and he'd never be the same.

The hunter smiled and sheathed his bow, approaching cautiously.
His aim had been unerring as it always seemed to be.
He looked down at the deer - poor thing had been such easy prey
Then raised his hand in mock salute......and Cupid flew away.

© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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1 posted 2000-12-11 10:15 PM


I guess none of us are safe from the wounds that Eros can inflict, are we? Very well-written, my friend... as always. Thanks for posting.

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2000-12-11 10:18 PM


you should only be struck down by the love bug.....or Cupid's arrow....you are a strong mighty buck, stand up and run for your life!!!!!!!!!!!

     loved this one!



"Always be a first rate version of your self instead of a second rate version
of someone else." Marilyn Monroe


serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-12-11 10:22 PM


awww...this is just so touching. Whatever it is that you've been doing, keep it up!!!
(am i bad? i yam...)

This pure dynamite...and yanno? I'd like to ask your permission to use this as one of my selections for the Valentine's issue of Passions...lol. Say yes, o editor o mine!

Startime
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since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
4 posted 2000-12-11 10:33 PM


*sigh* yes, friend, it happens so unexpectedly and how I wish you would send cupid my way. *giggling* with a Deer taken by the arrows of love there needs be other pray for a Star who looks for this kind of hunter. Much love to you from me.

Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com


Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
5 posted 2000-12-11 10:34 PM


Now I know why I keep my pasturelands clear of even Cupid's arrow...so that my deer may roam free across the range, so that I may enjoy their beauty...

and their exquisite communication of the eye...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
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Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-12-11 10:39 PM


Oh my goodness ... you are on a roll Michael!!! My 'deer, you simply amaze me ... ya got me cryin' and laughin' and all turned about! Geez ... I was getting all misty-eyed for the loss of this poor dear (deer?) ... till you caught me on the final line, lol! Wonderful!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2000-12-11 10:45 PM


Balladeer,
I remember you mentioning the idea of this one. Glad you put it to pen and you did a grand job. The ending was perfect.

doreen peri
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since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
8 posted 2000-12-11 10:47 PM


well, the buck stops here, i 'spose, huh? ... er... umm... i mean, nice antlers! *boom* lol

i had an egg nog, 'scuse me, ok, senor?  

oh.... 'deer meat.. uh... i mean, Dear Me! i have no idea about hunting season, seriously, because i usually stay inside and keep my Dor locked when it's cold... gotta dodge those bullets, y'know?... but, as a side note, i did see this poor bambi on the road the other day... it was very sad...it really really made me cry... but then again, i cry at commercials so, what's up with that? you know, especially that commercial, "let's get mikey!".... used to make me weep every time... hehe... oh, geez, i'm rambling here but what of it? i've been rambling for ... oh, i guess... a year and a half now on these forums so nobody will know the difference... LOL... i crack myself up sometimes even though i have no idea what's funny... but what's wrong with a crack-up every now and then? huh?  

and all this to say....

excellent poem, Balladeer!



oh, and i forgot to respond to the other one and i will, maybe, after this eggnog - so here's my vote for florida!! and that makes it 701!!! rofl...

you are a really good poet, did i tell you that yet today?  

- all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry -

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2000-12-11 11:20 PM


Bravo!!! It seems that you are taking the throne of poet king from Mark!!! Long live the King!    
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-12-12 12:43 PM


Balladeer~
This is a splendid piece of poetry.
You are certainly inspired.
Enjoyed this beauty very much.

Sooooooo, just how is that quivered arrow?
Love n' hugs n' stuff  
*wink*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
11 posted 2000-12-12 12:50 PM


Now Deer you can't expect me to believe the handsome deer wasn't aware he was fair game. Look at how many have been hunting this hunk of meat. Besides, I've seen her poems and answers to yours. I think it's wonderful that you can start your New Year with someone who loves you.
Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
12 posted 2000-12-12 07:05 AM


I happen to know Cupid personally... and I know for certain that shooting that deer was a total act of love...

Cupid doesn't fly far away either..

Nice work, deer..

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
13 posted 2000-12-12 07:42 AM


I have moved this comment into a new Topic thread - I worked very hard to show the world a side of 'Deer only few people have seen.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 12-12-2000).]

suthern
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Louisiana
14 posted 2000-12-12 09:40 AM


Aw, shucks... I thought this was going to be an ode to Toe's expertise at keeping Deer (and moose-loving scallywag sailors) in line! LOL (And along with those thoughts were prayers that hunting season would again be year round instead of sporadic like it's been lately *G*)

But instead... I find this excellent love poem. *S* Well done!

And LOL @ LJA... brat! *G*

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
15 posted 2000-12-12 01:31 PM


I need to build that library annex...sigh....

and I need someone sitting beside me to hit the right buttons when I respond...

oh I need so much help...

so many fine poets and so much poetry and it gets me all befuddled...

I'm rambling...

click...


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 12-12-2000).]

Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
16 posted 2000-12-12 10:19 PM


love bug...no, we are not. He's a devil!!!  

Rose....you can run but ya can't hide!!  

serenity...keep it up? LOL!   Of course you can use it....thank you!  

Startime...he's on the way. Getting that Canadian visa was tough!!!  

sunshine...the thought of a deer running through your pasture is a wonderful thought,,,

Kit...venison on a roll? Sounds great!! I love to keep ya guessing  

Sy...thanks..yep, finally got it down. Glad you enjoyed!!

Doreen....deer meat?? ROFL!!! You are ONE funny lady!!!! You should be writing for Saturday night live or speechwriting for Gore. He could sure use you!! Thanks for the laugh and the wonderful compliments  

deVine one...Mark can stay on the throne...I just like to write  

Marge....quivered arrow gave me the shaft!!...but I got the point!   Thank you, dear lady!  

inot2B....HOW DARE YOU.. be so observant?

Nan....I know you do...he kept saying nan-a nan-a nan-a nan-a!

LJA...I'm ready to show YOU a side of deer that few have ever seen!!!  

suthern...I've never seen the words "Toerag" and "expertise" in the same sentence! Your comments, however, are ALWAYS welcome!!  

sunshine...when you respond, the right buttons have been hit!   Thank you for annexing me  


Paula Finn
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since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
17 posted 2000-12-13 02:59 PM


Hey 'deer...can I whisper an address in Cupids' ear? Could use a lil help along those lines myself...
Martie
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California
18 posted 2000-12-13 03:56 PM


My deer...you know that word that's green and starts with a J...well I am   but I love this poem..so clever you are and all I can say is, what a way to go!
Wilfred Yeats
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since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
19 posted 2000-12-14 03:29 PM


It is a legitamate sport - or occupation - or whateve those who do it call it - but I've lost my taste for venison, not that it was ever strong - (Still like 'moose' though...) anyhow - it is still a great poem
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
20 posted 2000-12-14 03:36 PM


....."and Cupid flew away".... i just read this again and that last line really got to me.... you are a fine writer, Michael. you say so much so vividly.....
SEA
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with you
21 posted 2000-12-14 03:43 PM


Feels like you are the one shooting us with the arrows.............. -SEA
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