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Open Poetry #11
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Victorian Eyes
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Victorian Eyes |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion 
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Victorian Eyes A sign outside the manor message of black advent, gates no longer open to me - black bars with honed ends warning to stand clear. A question forms upon lips still not comprehending loss opportunity to plead my case denied without a word - communiqué at end. Between two vertical rods a face appears in the window as the rain begins its steady fall it distorts your image - a frightening flash of truth. You led me to this quagmire gave me the addict’s taste, into this well of love I fell neglected, once the game no longer held interest. Peer as though you see me, but I have come nocturnal only my yellow orbs betray - shining in your reflection unfit for Victorian eyes. © 2000 Corinne Bailey |
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| © Copyright 2000 Corinne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
A very interesting piece Corinne. You are always welcome to plead your case in my cell.  Park |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thanks, Park, plead I shall! Corinne |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
excellent word weaving, great poem... -Tier |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
once again with a brevity that truly amazes me - I saw the Victorean home- wrought iron gate and its windows - and myself standing in the rain - (sitting in my car more likely as I drive very slowly by ~G~) just as I did years ago when i lost a love - the last line is just perfect! |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Absolutely intriguing piece, Corinne! I don't fully understand what's being said, but I understand the feeling it evokes. It seems to me to be like one of those that entire classes discuss with many different interpretations. That is poetic power, is it not? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Corinne, I had no idea I would have this effect on you....I'm sorry  Come into my call anytime...it's padded!  the poem is hauntingly special, by the way... |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Tiersdin, thank you! You have an intruiguing Nickname, I'm curious. Is it a last name, or? Wilfred, thank you, Bill, I'm still feeling unsettled about this one, don't think it's quite done, but at the same time, not sure I want to revisit it, know what I mean? VAS, I think that is what bothers me about this poem, how to convey what it means without coming right out and saying it. Thank you for the compliment, by the way. Balladeer, if your cell is padded, I doubt I could ever escape! But then, would I want to??? And thank you! Corinne Corinne |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
In my great well of ignorance I have no idea what the significance of the Victorian eyes are. Enlighten me, wouldya? However, I think you did portray your theme very well without just coming out and saying it. Your images pop out with clarity; your tone stands alone (forgive the pun); just a great job all around. -me |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great words arranged well there Corinne.... I love that last verse and hope that I'm not unfit for Victorian eyes that would be a shame being old fashioned like I am.... this is a great write dear poet lady ... continue!! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
It is a pleasure to read something obviously written with care, and order and emotion. This is a fine poem, Corinne, speaks of much heartache and neglect. The words are haunting, the term "Victorian eyes" I've never heard that. I would venture to say you put a lot of time and care into this one. Thank you for posting it. "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." Winnie the Pooh |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
I just loved this! "Victorian Eyes" creates such imagery you can almost feel yourself there. Beautiful! Elise |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
a very intense and atmospheric piece... excellent writing. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You leave me with the feeling of a black cat, having glanced, decided it's time to leave... and haunting, indeed! Well done Corinne! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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