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Open Poetry #11
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Waking Venus
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Waking Venus |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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to a degree gender had diverged from the edge of skin she deserved more than woven words rung on weekends from some nun's vow to endure the knife of genius in a melodramatic dirge for Gideon in a dungeon even sunk behind walls Venus slept in the severance of verse serving veins the never die grin somwhere in the flicker of a video screen the end was never done droning in the under-vengeance she was Eve deceived and cast aside astray asunder she would derive the wine of Eden the sworn genus of interplanetary need orbiting the virus somewhere over a wink she would send it in a wire somewhere the nude sunrise surging waking Venus the runes singing out devouring sine qua non risen above the ring of reason into the vision of an agnostic wind she would vie for the song robed in plucked strings invoking the force of a goddess waking riding on the wings of Mercury no Gideon required Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran |
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liquidphantasy Junior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 15california |
This is an awesome write! It's got so much vivid imagery in it and it's quite dynamic and rich in verbiage and phrasing! This soars, dances, flies, "rides the wings of Mercury!" I love it!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No Gideon required....the perfect ending. Nicely penned, winged wonder.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
whoa---lots of symbolism woven here--and I gotta agree with b'deer--No Gideon required...yanno? There was a very interesting club I went to one night, called "The Soiled Dove"--seems they had the same policy. Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Terrific Ladies' night though. Grins to you, m'friend. I go back to read this one again. (My thoughts wandered...heh heh.) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey, LR... Nice to see your smiling pen... I enjoy your work so much for all of its multitudes of innuendo... Keep 'em coming, my friend..  |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
I'm bringing this back from the depths b/c I like it a lot. Very nicely written. Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
glad you brought this one back up, Ryan... it's really well written in many layers to explore... Rebel - i'm sure you have a cause... and maybe it's to be Art-on-Wings! .... excellent writing! |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* how utterly delightful. I loved the images of this one. Much love to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Extremely vivid and biting! It could take several reads to see all that's there. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Reb, I so like this bit "she would vie for the song robed in plucked strings" Excellent Write Be well Kethry Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant - Thoreau |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
well as much as I hate to bump this all the way back up I hate to be rude and not say thanks to everyone... Doreen... shall we peel off some layers??? Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran |
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