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Open Poetry #11
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a simple death
| Open Poetry #11 |
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a simple death |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I die a simple death tonight I cry a simple tear of light I wish I were not so alone... I wish you were-- wish me...my own. If you were not so far away it would be the other way... you'd see the fire blue light eyes you would feel this spark-- desired... you would kiss me-- you~admire~ even now taste my perspire even how of love expired... you... a simple death tonight, you, you could have staved my plight-- but oh it is not meant to be, you think you are too good for me. and oh how worthy i will be... when you are faced with thirst of me..... a simple death, the death of me-- or so you think- I've yet to be. |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
S'en, An epic longing for love in the dark. I loved it. One question: did you want the last stanza to end wish me ... my own, or WITH me ... my own? Mike |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I understand the longing in this one and applaud you! A keeper for sure, my friend.  |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I love the way you're carving the meaning of yearning and longing out of the craft of this structure...it's very well done!! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Serenity, softsmiles andLOUDapplauseWrite on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I die a simple death tonight I cry a simple tear of light I wish I were not so alone... I wish you were-- wish me...my own. If you were not so far away it would be the other way... you'd see the fire blue light eyes you would feel this spark-- desired... you would kiss me-- you~admire~ even now taste my perspire even how of love expired... ================ and oh how worthy i will be... when you are faced with thirst of me..... a simple death, the death of me-- or so you think- I've yet to be. =================== "I've yet to be." me thinks we aint seen NOTHIN yet ... not from you or that golden poets pen of yours ... and anyone who aint mesmerized ... aint breathin  *winkiewinkie* *blowing kisses to the south* me loves ya me |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Much **applause** here my friend. jwesley |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow ... excellent Serenity! I loved the flow in this piece, poweful sentiments hinting at what is yet to come, great writing!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"and oh how worthy i will be... when you are faced with thirst of me....." great stanza geesh, you too, huh? seems a lot of this kinda thing's going around lately... *s hey!! where've you been? you invisible, just like me???  write? |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Absolutely awesome!!! I do love this one. "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Lloyd Junior Member
since 1999-06-16
Posts 17Torquay, Vic. Australia |
Simply wondeful |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
serenity- this is fabulous!! i really love it. hugs, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I want to thank everybody...sorry for the rush--but I'm trying to catch up on all I've missed...and yep, doreen, there is an awful lot of this going around! will try to catch up on e mails later...right now? I just want to READ....Thanks to all, and HUGS. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
you know why I love this one serenity. . . wonderful. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Serene such a hopeless feeling you have left me with. There is more that what you see in this. Very nice Rich |
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