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Open Poetry #10

Untitled Part 2

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2000-10-05 12:49 PM

Far across barren fields and bloodied rivers
Through woods filled with fallen soldiers
Underneath the darkest of skies
Fights a prince built of courage and vigor
Proudly does his singing sword fly

Vainly does the sun try to expose tears
Washing over the face, grim and feared

Rising up in the middle of battle, he does tower
Strong and tall, an example of his royal power
Arrows, axes and swords rain down
The prince, possessed, fights his greatest hour
Finally fatigued and outnumbered, he is cut down

Fingers working the straps, running out of time
Removing armor to ease his heavy, burdened mind

Above his form, the soldiers fight unknowing
Their faces hardening, a deadly countenance showing
Fighting others with their murderous wares
While underfoot, constant tears flowing
And a still, suffocating silence in the air

As he waits for the end to come, against death defiantly,
Vowing to one day return to her, he waits patiently

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

1 posted 2000-10-05 01:10 PM

wow. At the moment I'm partially speechless. Excellent imagery, the veiled meaning shining through the battle...

Very, very good.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
B. Russell

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

2 posted 2000-10-05 02:19 PM

Thank you very, very much. Someone suggested I write a part 2, even though the first part was complete in my mind a year ago. Thanks again.

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

3 posted 2000-10-05 02:23 PM

Oh I liked the imagary of war and loved the ending too

There are enough colours in the world,
To paint your own dreams,
You won't get them,
Till you try.

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