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Open Poetry #10
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Layers Of Gray
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Layers Of Gray |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Can you hear it between us? This gray mist of sudden uncertainty slowly creeping in distorting features once so crystal clear and leaving shadows in your eyes that I can't read coating the two of us until I can't recognize you at all Can only stare at this stranger that sometimes reminds me of you To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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| © Copyright 2000 Celeste - All Rights Reserved | |||
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Can only stare at this stranger that sometimes reminds me of you simply written but very haunting ending...i liked  |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Thank you Kaile.....Appriciate that, as I rather debated on that ending. To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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aurora rain Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 90 |
it's a beautiful poem, well worded. amazingly well worded. but just out of curiousity, what is it with the line breaks? they seem a bit sharp and awkward at points. sorry to criticise...but they seem unnatural. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
You got the sound of frustrated hopelessness written into this one very well!! It came across to me as strangers under the same roof...ethome |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Thank you, Ethome........appriciate that. To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
It's true, sometimes someone we thought we knew...changes, or the relationship changes...and we don't know them at all..you have expressed this well...so sad. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Dreamkeeper* Those layers of gray have a time and a place in every relationship it seems...we can only hope to hang on until the sun melts the clouds away...great writing~ You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~ |
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DreamSeeker Member
since 2000-11-17
Posts 72 |
Moments Uncertain Tear through the Heart On Strings Quivers Deep Down Revolts Inside You Know This Storm A Tempest Will Pass With The Dawn Knowing Love Never Stopped |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
This one moves into my heart, for it holds a cold, unbearable truth for me in this time of my life. Thanks for being able to voice something that I have yet been able to find the strength to say. PS, may I have permission to send this through one of the e-cards here to someone I think needs to read this? < !signature--> With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe [This message has been edited by dragonpoe (edited 11-17-2000).] |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
dragonpoe, thank you so much! Yes, please do. Am so glad it touched you that way.... DreamSeeker, Great to see you here! And yes, so very true. Thank you. Butterflies_Don't_Cry: You couldn't be more right. So very very true. Thankfully that time for me has passed. Martie: Yes....you've said this very well. Hard to remember sometimes that everything changes, or goes through changes. Thank you so much for commenting! To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"and leaving shadows in your eyes that I can't read coating the two of us until I can't recognize you at all" great lines here a fine piece thanks for the read |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
gawd! i relate! |
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