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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-11-05 06:25 PM


Stalled in Plastic

I see life stalled in plastic
melted then dried
into the shape of a dream
a plastic dream

The candle twitches
I see it through glass eyes
and it captures the shadows
but hides sweet decay

This energy lives on
and can sing from the pit
can dig up worms
and color them with gone

When it burns it slips quietly
across the dance floor
seeping into the cracks
its fragrance stalling an embrace

It is a sad story
and there are tears here
they are made from listening
to all the sighs of wood

The wood song of a house
splinters into memory
but it lives still in its story
where I can hear it calling

Twelve steps before the creak
four steps a groan
sliding the railing of time
it settles with the night

Even though my ears are jaded
by the plastic minute’s caprice
I hear it call me love
and I know where it lives

and that is in heart
yes



[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 11-05-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-11-05 08:00 PM


Martie, how do you do it...you start so simply and take me down a such a winding road of verse...the sadness here is evident, and I loved the description of the steps and knowing every one by rote....I take notes from you, yanno.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-11-05 08:03 PM


seemingly we live
in kindred spirit kind
your thoughts go one way
and I am of another mind...

well done, my friend, well done...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-11-06 11:53 AM


When it burns it slips quietly
across the dance floor
seeping into the cracks
its fragrance stalling an embrace

It is a sad story
and there are tears here
they are made from listening
to all the sighs of wood

The wood song of a house
splinters into memory
but it lives still in its story
where I can hear it calling

Twelve steps before the creak
four steps a groan
sliding the railing of time
it settles with the night
==============
this one brought many of my own memories of my grandparents old house and the noises and sounds that stay with us always.
this is slightly haunting, and sad .. but your bring the emotions full circle to the heart of the matter ...
Im not sure I grasp all you intend in this..
(need more tea this morn) *smile*
but the imagery is superb ...
Ill come back and read when me brain is accepting metaphors  
later-sweet-gator
me

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2000-11-06 12:10 PM


Serenity, Sunshine and JM...even I am unclear about this poem...LOL..but it is about the new stuff taking the romance out of life, Plastic vs. wood....and the deeper meaning of memories of the house I lived in as a child.  Also about hurting the earth with things that don't decompose.  Thank you for reading and replying to my obscure ramblings...
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-11-07 12:21 PM


Martie~
You captured what I think is the growing
disdain for totally bombastic plastic.

Remember when a terracota pot ...
was a terracotta pot ?
And a slide down the banister gave you splinters ?

Wonderful thoughts, dear poet.
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
6 posted 2000-11-07 12:36 PM


around here - wall to wall carpet is disdained - as is fake wood flooring - curiously corian countertops are approved - but my son finishes all his own furniture - (must have raised him right ~G~~) - Loved this Martie - beautiful as always and great food for thought
compassion
Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135
USA
7 posted 2000-11-08 03:37 AM


Martie, It's amazing what one can see through the screen. I find this one hauntingly break with dark spirits entwined.

"The candle twitches
I see it through glass eyes
and it captures the shadows
but hides sweet decay

This energy lives on
and can sing from the pit
can dig up worms
and color them with gone"


tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
8 posted 2000-11-08 03:51 AM


Martie your writing is so beautiful, I love the way you see things and the way you make us see it...well written  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

9 posted 2000-11-08 06:06 AM


'and color them with gone'

I adore that line

I think there needs to be an appreciation society for this line..(color needs a 'u' though...colour - ah...much better heh)

Martie, this is haunting.
I would like to know - are you planning on creating a web site to showcase your poetry? I really think you should, if you haven't already.

And - are you submitting?

And can I have your autograph in advance?

hugs

K



The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2000-11-08 11:38 AM


Marge--why didn't I think of that word "bombastic", I love it...and yes I do remember...thanks.

Sounds like a place I'd like to see..thank you for your warm reply.

Compassion--thanks for looking for this one, and your nice reply..I was a little upset with progress.

Tracie--Some times I see too much...thank you for always replying so sweetly.

Kamla--I don't know how to create a web site...will you show me?  and now I have a new printer I can start submitting again...now may I ask the same question of you?

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

11 posted 2000-11-08 11:49 AM


~Martie,...visiting you has proved positive again. Always. I adore the eye (and heart) opening you do,...the way you speak to us in verses perfectly poetic. Thank you M for always satisfying. *Peace you.
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

12 posted 2000-11-08 01:54 PM


This carried me through with so many emotions, Martie, it was so well put together.  Very well done.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
13 posted 2000-11-08 02:23 PM


ahhhh my friend, give cowboy a good ole fashion log cabin and a wood burning pot belly in the middle of the floor and I will do without the tiled floors and the formulated composite walls and banisters.  Love your thoughts in this and I find myself trying to run from technology more and more everyday, BUT PLEASE.....leave us the computers LOL....hugs my friend.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2000-11-08 02:36 PM


Marvelous first class metaphors here Martie this is very skillfully written piece...such reflections .........throughly enjoyed this!!

take care..........ethome.............

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

15 posted 2000-11-08 05:07 PM


I don't know how to myself hon...LOL - the hypocrite emerges heh heh...

BUT - isn't there an option to do one through Passions? Also - HEAPS of people here know how to...we could always learn together - now that I am on a sort of holiday (we can even do that poem I've so neglected...lol)

YAY on the submitting part...

talk to you soon...

  K

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-08-2000).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2000-11-08 07:40 PM


SpitFire--You reply is wonderful..thank you, and also for the peace, my friend..I hope it is yours as well.

Kathleen---I'm glad you came by to read...thank you.

Mark--Yes, I guess progress has its possitive side, doesn't it...you get a computer in the bunk house.

ethome--I'm glad you liked the metaphore...thanks for saying such possitive things...I appreciate it.

Kamla--a holiday, you say...what..is it summer there??  Yes, to the poem!

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 11-08-2000).]

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

17 posted 2000-11-09 04:42 AM


Summer?

It's supposed to be summer...

Yeah...I will call it summer when it isn't raining for days on end and when it isn't windy and cold lol...

Ahhhh...beaches...to thee I shalt come anon!

   K

< !signature-->

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S


[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-09-2000).]

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