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Open Poetry #10
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Too Shy To Try ... Poet D's challenge
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Too Shy To Try ... Poet D's challenge |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
for Poet Divines challenge to write from the perspective of the opposite sex... inspired by and written for my younger brother who lives with this struggle ... we have had many conversations about how the burden of the "first move" is sometimes too hard for some men ... For Andy ... with love and understanding I watch her from across the room ... here at work each and every day, I wonder if she notices me ... should I talk to her ... what would I even say. Sometimes she smiles at me ... as she passes by, does she know she takes my breath away ... can she hear my heart sigh. Does she even begin to realize ... the way she sets my soul on fire, would she be taken back ... by the depth of my desire. I watch her while she works ... watch her toss back her silken hair. I smell her sweet perfume ... her essence lingers in the air. And I wonder if she knows ... that I am just so damn shy, I wish the first move ... wasn't always left up to the guy. It takes so much effort ... to work up the nerve to ask a simple question and it's even harder still ... to handle the cold reality of a woman's rejection. So I sit here day after day ... and suffer in the silence of my attraction, and I settle for sending subtle hints ... hoping for some kind of reaction. If only I were able to tell her ... instead of worshiping her from afar, if only I were a poet ... I'd write her a sonnet and tell her she's my shining star. But I'm no poet ... I've no verse or rhyme ... no magic poets pen... I sit here watching the world pass me by ... too shy to speak ... alone once again. Janet Marie thanks to Sharon for the inspiration of her challenge |
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| © Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is sweet...I love shy guys! Now he can send her this one! hint-hint-hint Geez, I think I'm starting to love yer whole family! Great job, JM. love ya lots. |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Great poem JM you have captured the essense of it so acuratly. Rich |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
JANET, you never cease to amaze me you're soooooooooo good hun  a superb write!Coco |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
you're so close it's scary....kid!! You captured the mood very very well!! Like this old one............. You give your hand to me and then you say hello well I can hardly speak my heart is beating so and anyone can tell you think you know me well but you don't know me. No you don't know the one who dreams of you each night who longs to kiss your lips who longs to hold you tight to you I'm just a friend and that's all I've ever been cause you don't know me. Well I never knew the art of makin love though my heart ached with love for you, afraid and shy I watched my chance slip by the chance you might have loved me too.... You give you hand to me and then you say good-bye I watch you walk away oh with that lucky guy to never never know the guy who loves you so cause you don't know me. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet--I have always been on the shy side of bold..I know just how it feels and this is it. Great Poem! |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
absolutely brilliant! i think this is an awesome challenge, and you have met it well. you know i just got a job, and i think one of the girls there is a hottie, and so once again you're snapping shots of my life! weird indeed. it really feel like that, you know... the not wanting to make the first move. wow, you ARE good. ----- and it's even harder still ... to handle the cold reality of a woman's rejection. So I sit here day after day ... and suffer in the silence of my attraction, and I settle for sending subtle hints ... hoping for some kind of reaction. If only I were able to tell her ... instead of worshiping her from afar, ----- sorry bout my abscence. like i said, i got a job! i'm a waiter! much love to ya. hope all is well. glad to see your writing is still at that level where it's new, yet able to be realted to easily, not repetitive, and amazing every time. E I am reminded of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?" |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Wow Janet! This is a fabulous piece, your insight is indeed scary. "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Fabulous insight, fabulous poem. Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Hey Janny this is so beautifully written, yes some guys are too shy to make the first move and rely on the woman....feel for him. I agree with serenity maybe he should give this to her You've a beautiful heart sweetie Love Tracie Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Hmmmm...your insight into the shy man's world...you wrote the soul of him though... I guess shy has never been one of my strong points...maybe I should work on it naahhhhh the flame is much to nice to not dance in it  Love ya girlie..this is a new side of your poetry and me likes it SS~ |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Hey JM! Great poem! Very sweet and romantic! Good job. Love it!! sp  Do not go where the path may lead, but instead, go where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
You have it down to a tee...I can remember these feelings so clearly...I guess we all feel the same...and maybe thats what we all have to realize Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, You have the insight and wrote it right. Excellent. Sy |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
JM-- I AM right...you CAN write just about any type of poetry and very wonderfully I might add. i'm not guy but from what i've heard you wrote their feelings very accurately! great poem!! take care my friend. love ya, Amy "The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences" |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet~ You are amazing.......this reminds me of my brother too......he was always so shy.....always so afraid of the rejection.....really enjoyed this! -SEA |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wonderful!!! While we write these, perhaps we will gain some understanding of what the opposite sex has to deal with in life!! Very good JM. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I don't know why - but I've never been shy - at least not that I can remember - but I've seen and heard it and know it's real - Thus I say this rings true - beautifully and sensitively expressed |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
Janet Marie, Of all the words in all of the dictionaries in the world, only one word adequately sums up what you've done here ... "BULLSEYE !!" If we go on the assumption that I am a poet, tell your brother that it doesn't come any easier for a poet. TLS |
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compassion Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135USA |
Janet, Awesome write!! Ya da man!! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Sweet write for your brother..I used to be shy in high school..but when I got out on the street I went the other extreme...got tired of missing so many opportunities. I was hanging around with some of the masters...like James Jones...Gods gift to girls...thats the answer..hang out with an extrovert...Learned to just look em in the eye and say Hi...simple friendly conversation is all it takes..it still works best for me if the woman shows some interest in me...rejection is a mean animal...but I rejected my share...this is life...what can they say except yes, no, or maybe...James |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
This piece is great Janet...you've totally summed up how a young man feels inside...I know that I can relate...this is just brilliant work Janet and this is what makes a great poet...the ability to write from the perspective of anything besides yourself....I know that I can relate that..I've wrote a poem about life from a dollar bill's perspective...it's very deep...I may post it someday.....anyways, great work and have a great day! Nathan |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Jan~ So many can relate to this. It's a really good poem. Deb |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Im a bit overwhelmed by these replies.. thank you so much guys... it seems no matter what I write about.. you always embrace it, and encourage me .. and I love ya all for that...more than I can say here... to the guys who replied and say you know how this is Im sorry.. I see how hard it is for my brother... Ethome...thank you for the song  Nate ... thank you for that amazing reply Lonely Stranger ... thank you for the generous reply and sharing... Im sorry you relate so well... let your poetry speak for you... thank YOU ALL for the kind words love ya in poetry land jm |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*wow*....you have penned an excellent piece....with words so true... really enjoyed reading it. Charisma |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
yOU DELVED INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S MIND AND PAINTED A SELF PORTRAIT hOW LOVELY! lIZ |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Janet this was just too great. I have to say I've always felt a bit sorry for guys since it was always them that had to do the asking out and all that. I would often think what courage it must take for them to actually do that. Really loved this girl. Love & hugs, Juls |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
JM....you would make a lousy guy but you're one hell of a woman!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
This has to be re-posted for anyone too shy to take a first step, with or without challenges, one never knows until they take that first step. I loved this write of heart. |
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