Open Poetry #10 |
I'll be your mirror |
Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
I actually kind of stole the title from an old poetry book because I love the poem and I wanted to make my own version of it...enjoy! Baby, I'm crystal clear, like crystal chandelieres so look at me and see, what or who you want to be because, if you have any problems, I'm here to solve them. If you're feeling insecure about our love, then I'll be, all the currents in the sea, to wash away all your doubts of me as I'll be your sunshine and rain, and all of the happiness, that will wash away, all your pain. If you want to put our love to an end, I promise that I'll still love you, and still call you my friend but if you truly wish to stay with me, then I'll be, your lock and key. If you're angry with me, I'll be, the smile that makes you happy. If you're feeling lonely tonight, I'll be the image on the other side, that will accompany you tonight. If you think that you're ugly, I'll shine a light on your insides, and make you see, that you're pretty. Whatever the case maybe, I can make it better because I'm your mirror, and I want our love, to reflect forever. |
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© Copyright 2000 Nate Dogg - All Rights Reserved | |||
Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Wow...this is spectacular...not sure what the original poem was but it certainly inspired a beautiful piece of work from you...I was going to pick my favorite lines...but there is just no way to narrow it down...and the ending left a lasting and perfect vision. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nate this is really good..so important to be their with a positive influence for the one we care for. James |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
This is great! More than shining a little light on the subject, I want to reflect the positive in people too. Very fortunate is the person who has a mirror like this one... Bob <>< |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Wow, thank all three of you for responding to my poem...I knew the poem was good but I dindn't expect these great responses I've recieved though...and the original poem and mine well, the only similarities we share, is our titles...you can believe that because, I wouldn't plagerize someone else's work especially when I wanna brag and take full credit of something I wrote.....I'm all about originality these days and you can believe that!(smiles) Thanks for your comments and have a wonderful day! Nathan |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nate, my friend~ Everything you write has the definite signature of originality on it ! You are uniquely you and this is wonderful ! Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Baby, I'm crystal clear, like crystal chandelieres so look at me and see, what or who you want to be because, if you have any problems, I'm here to solve them. If you're feeling insecure about our love, then I'll be, all the currents in the sea, to wash away all your doubts of me as I'll be your sunshine and rain, and all of the happiness, that will wash away, all your pain. If you want to put our love to an end, I promise that I'll still love you, and still call you my friend ================== Nate...this is a very cool poem... very sincere and sweet too.. great use of metaphors and rhyme ... love the imagery of the chandeliers excellent work from your poets pen take care jm |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
i am impressed! i like the flow and rhythm of this SO much. it's absolutely COOL. the theme you've borrowed is an awesome one and i like the spin you've given it. it's a very enchanting theme, the mirrors and all. i just dig this one. good stuff. I am reminded of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?" |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Wow, another set of great posts I've recieved here...thank you Marge for knowing about my originality...I love ya too....Thank you Janet for your faboulous post and the excellency...Thank you for being enchanted and thanks for responding! Nathan |
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azure Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 52 |
Wow, you have no idea how this poem touched me. What a beautiful declaration of unconditional love... just what I needed to hear today, to know feelings like this are out there. Amazing. Azure "I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much" - Sandra Cisneros |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Nate, that was so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm gonna cry b/c I've never really read anything that sweet b4. Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Thank you for your sweet comments, Allysa! Nathan |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is great, Nate! You just keep getting better and better! Actually you can't steal a title...they aren't covered by copyright, so they are free for the taking! Love your poem! Denise |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Nathan...love the whole poem but I especially like this line... but if you truly wish to stay with me, then I'll be, your lock and key. I like the permanance this suggests...great write |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Thank you Denise..you're very right, I am getting better and better and it's kinda scary cause I'm still young and I'm still developing and harnessing my craft...great observation and thanks for your comments! Thank you Paula, for your fabulous comments! And to anyone who hasn't posted, post please cause this poem deserves to be read and put to the top of the board! (smiles) Nathan |
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