»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #10
»
Total Miscarriage (Dedicated to my sister)
| Open Poetry #10 |
|
Total Miscarriage (Dedicated to my sister) |
|
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
|
This poem is dedicated to my big sister who after years of trying to have a child still holds only empty memories in her arms and for anyone else who's lost a baby that others pretend never existed. I love you sis, and I do understand. Hugs  Ruth Total Miscarriage They act as though you never existed; determine your worth in the number of weeks that you dwelled within me. “Not viable.” Like that is supposed to be any consolation to me, who worshipped that little plus sign displayed so vividly after two mornings spent in the bathroom upon awakening. Just days ago, I watched in utter amazement as the sonographer pointed out the tiny pulsating dot that signified the beating of your heart and already I’d planned for you, for us. Twelve weeks, Eighty-four days, I knew you. Ten more and you may have survived outside the protection of my womb. Already your limbs were formed and my hands ached to feel you in them. Today they label you a “miscarriage”... and fault you far more than I ever could. [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 10-28-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Heartbreaking, Ruth, and very well written. This brought tears to my eyes. Denise |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
hmmmm...it happened again...my reply didn't bring this up....hope this one does! Denise |
||
|
Poet's Sister Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 80North Carolina |
Ruth - I can barely see the keyboard thru my tears. Thanks little sister, I guess you really do understand. This is incredible and I love you for it and well as for about a billion other reasons. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ruth and sis ... this is heartbreaking..but your poem is a honest and insightful reflection of how it feels and the way it really is... I know this loss, having a "miscarriage" in my 6th month of pregnancy years ago..it is devastating, I know the doctors dont deliberately dismiss the baby...but it really does feel like that when it all gets explained away in medical terms. My heart goes out to your sister...no one can really comprehend it till they have been there themselves or see it thru the eyes of a loved one. Im sorry this happends and so often happends more than once. beautiful tribute to your sister and a sweet testimony to your love and understanding take care both of you jm |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Ruth, this hits so close to home. What a tender and sorrowful portrayal of the loss and emptiness that follows this tragedy. Beautifully written. I was never able to have children, and my heart simply aches when another has such difficulties. Hugs to you both ... Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Ruth* My heart goes out to your sister and others with these memories...you tenderly penned the love that begins with conception and never dies...no matter the outcome. What a beautiful heart you have and an exquisite ability to pen the emotions~ |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks everyone for your touching comments. Loss is never an easy thing to pen or an easy thing to read about. I've been compelling a group of poems I've written about the loss of pregnancy and loss of a newborn into a short chapbook to be given to women who've suffered the loss of a pregnancy or newborn. I'm going to pilot it in my own hospital and if it is well received, perhaps extend it. I want women to know their grief is understood and normal. Some of the poems are from my (the caretakers) point of view, others are based on experiences and things women who've lost a child or pregnancy have said to me. I guess we'll see how it goes. Once more, thanks as always for your continued support of my work. Hugs Ruth [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 10-28-2000).] |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Yes, I've experienced this, it's agony, thank you Ruth, and God bless your sister and a sweet little angel who is waiting for her. "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Ruth, you and your sister are in my prayers. Many of my relatives, as well as other people I know, have had miscarriages. Although the mother may not have been pregnant 'long enough', she has still bonded with her child and it can be as bad as losing someone already born. No matter what, it is a loss. God bless you and your sister. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
||
|
Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Oh, Ruth, thank you for your tender care, and for sharing this poignant and heartrending poem. I have been there! Only in my day, there were no sonograms, ultrasounds - just that very personal kicking, and the glorious belief - not hope - but BELIEF of most expectant parents - nothing could possibly go wrong! I have lived through many kinds of pain, but the anguish of being childless, and losing the tiny baby I passionately desired, might still be the greatest pain of all. Love and great compassion to your sister. May she have another soon - but I understand that no future baby could ever take the place of THAT baby. That baby was his or herself - and there is only one. But - with faith - in Heaven she can have that baby back forever. With love in Christ - Rosemary The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G. |
||
|
Poet's Sister Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 80North Carolina |
Thanks again Ruth and I have to add my thanks to all who have mentioned your sister in their remarks, for all those kind thoughts and prayers and hugs. I've been through this five times and it never gets any easier. I think the little family I always wanted was just never meant to be but I'm so thankful to have a sister like you who understands and cares. |
||
|
Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
My heart, my prayers my love - go out to you AND your sister - and sad as they are - I pray she doesn't give up - my sister-in-law (at the time) delivered three wonderful children after an initial micarriage. |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Once more, thanks everyone for your kind words and for sharing your personal experiences here. Hugs Ruth |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I hope and pray she is blessed with a child...James |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
