Comming Around Again......my 5024 post

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Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-10-28 02:10 AM

Coming Around Again

Michelle,
fall has found me again
on the day when I screamed you
across the white room
my breath a boil
you ruptured
with your beginning

Scrunched and squinting
and slippery I held
you across my wonder
that had never been that big
with love

and now you’re coming around again
like you do each year
to tear me to tear me
with your crib of pictures
for I cannot bring you to mind
most other days
or remember the sound of your laugh
or how you wrinkled your nose at me
when you thought I wasn’t looking

I cannot see how your shoulders curved
or how your dresses grew too short for your legs
cannot see you turn your head fast
so your hair hits your cheek like sunlight

but you come around again with October
and lay your curls
across my lap then I can feel
the press of your head there
and if I close my eyes
the silk falls through my fingers

I see you stand alone looking back
at where you left the road
and think how brave a child can be
to one day deal with the hard truth
of coloring between the lines
and the next with death

Today you come around again
with your hand holding the hose
that waters the gardens in heaven
and you stop and smile
and beguile me with balloons
that I cannot hold

you come around again
spinning to me
across the chasm of time
and hit me with
a hand full of October

gift wrapped on the 28th

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-28-2000).]

Robert Joseph
Member

since 2000-10-07

Posts 491
South Carolina

1 posted 2000-10-28 02:20 AM

Martie, this is absolutely gripping, holding the heart with each word! Excellent!

Robert Joseph

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

2 posted 2000-10-28 02:24 AM

Michelle,
fall has found me again
on the day when I screamed you
across the white room
my breath a boil
you ruptured
with your beginning

Scrunched and squinting
and slippery I held
you across my wonder
that had never been that big
with love

Absolutely wonderous Martie

If only we could have them back again, yes?

I love it Martie.

Maree

"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

3 posted 2000-10-28 02:30 AM

Martie god you have worded this so well, it's so tender and filled with your hearfelt love
winged ~HUG~ floating your way
Love Tracie~

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2000-10-28 06:20 AM

Martie,
This is the most heart wrenching poem I have ever read. Such beauty in the child, such sorrow in the beauty of your poem, Such joy in the life. Fond memories and deep sorrow on a birthday. You have put me in your place for a moment and I can hardly type through my tears. My heart is with you in your rememberance. A warm embrace comes to you from Pennsylvania, along with my congratulations on your 5000th post.
Liz

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

5 posted 2000-10-28 06:34 AM

Martie, what a wonderful and powerful poem. I could see her, oh Martie this is sooo beautiful.
I'm astounded at how beautiful and sad these words are. Just wonderful, God Blees
Marsha

Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

6 posted 2000-10-28 06:42 AM

Can't.....quite.......br e a t h eee

WOW.

I see you stand alone looking back
at where you left the road
and think how brave a child can be
to one day deal with the hard truth
of coloring between the lines
and the next with death

This poem is a testament of enduring love and how the ones you love remain alive even when gone.

Hugs Martie

K

"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn...
it was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."

From Jack Maggs

BSC

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-02-04

Posts 2919
New York, USA

7 posted 2000-10-28 07:01 AM

Oh Martie, So much love, so much sadness, such beautifully written memories of your sweet angel. Thoughts and prayers are with you this day. Bonnie

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2000-10-28 10:09 AM

Robert Joseph--Thank you, it hold my heart as well.

Maree--If only...thanks hon!

Tracie--Thank you for the winged hug.

Liz--My sweet friend, your words warm my heart.

Marsha--Thank you for your heart-felt words.

Kamla--You are so right...she IS still alive in my heart.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2000-10-28 10:16 AM

Bonnie--sorry, I missed you...thank you so much for reading and for your sweet words...thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

10 posted 2000-10-28 10:24 AM

Martie~
Know that my tears fall and join yours
in Michelle's remembrance.

'but you come around again with October
and lay your curls
across my lap then I can feel
the press of your head there
and if I close my eyes
the silk falls through my fingers'

Such lovely images in which you draw her near.
Big loving hugs sent your way, my friend.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Poertree
Senior Member

since 1999-11-05

Posts 1359
UK

11 posted 2000-10-28 10:47 AM

Martie ..this isn't one to critique ... but this is one of the best, possibly THE best, i've seen from you.

P

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

12 posted 2000-10-28 11:15 AM

that had never been that big
with love

and now you’re coming around again
like you do each year
to tear me to tear me
with your crib of pictures
for I cannot bring you to mind
most other days
or remember the sound of your laugh
or how you wrinkled your nose at me
when you thought I wasn’t looking

I cannot see how your shoulders curved
or how your dresses grew too short for your legs
cannot see you turn your head fast
so your hair hits your cheek like sunlight

but you come around again with October
and lay your curls
across my lap then I can feel
the press of your head there
and if I close my eyes
the silk falls through my fingers

I see you stand alone looking back
at where you left the road
and think how brave a child can be
to one day deal with the hard truth
of coloring between the lines
and the next with death

Today you come around again
with your hand holding the hose
that waters the gardens in heaven
and you stop and smile
and beguile me with balloons
that I cannot hold

you come around again
spinning to me
across the chasm of time
and hit me with
a hand full of October

gift wrapped on the 28th
===============
god martie..this just takes all my words and my breath and the tears fall so freely and sweetly and I want to say something profound and poetic and the words just wont come..
and then I know there arent any words of mine
that could do her or you or this loss justice
and I feel like Im mute..
Ever since I read your first poem of Michelle,
before I knew you...or had contact,
they have always effected me like this...
I cant even explain it..
people always tell me I write "different" when I write with Vante'...
it is the same thing when you write with her, and your love for her flows thru your pen...
this amazing poem is testimony and proof of that.
thank you for sharing her with us.
I love you sweet poet.
jm

< !signature-->

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 10-28-2000).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

13 posted 2000-10-28 11:28 AM

The tears are streaming down my face. This is both heartbreaking and beautiful. Sending great big HUGS on this bittersweet day.

A Letter From Heaven

I’m sending hugs and kisses from above
To let you know I’m thinking of you still;
I’m safely snuggled in His arms of love
In Paradise, according to His will.
One joyous day you’ll see me once again
When time and space no longer separate
Me from your side; we’ll be together then
A blessing that no one can confiscate.
Until that day remember I love you
And that I’m smiling down upon your way
To give you strength in everything you do
To fill your heart with cheer from day to day…
And playing with the angels all the while
So Mommy dry your tears, give me a smile.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

14 posted 2000-10-28 01:08 PM

Martie:..Bless you sweetheart

HUSG and tears

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

15 posted 2000-10-28 01:59 PM

I cannot read this without tears -It matters not if I'm rereading - and this is all the more confounding because the poetry is so very beautiful - I ought to be able to concentrate on the astounding quality of your phrases. No mother, no parent - should have a child predecease them {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

16 posted 2000-10-28 02:26 PM

Martie-I would do anything for you my friend to take away the pain but all I can do is to remind you of where she is now and that she is not only watching you but she is with you in every step you take and every breath you breathe. She is waiting for you in a place so much kinder and filled with so much beauty so that one day you may walk with her hand in hand and she can show you the beauty there just as you have shown us so much beauty here in your poems. You know I love you my friend.

=============================================

For My Mommy On Earth

Mommy, I am happy and I always watch over you
Please don't cry mommy, I will wait right here
You should see this place, the beautiful view
All of God's creations the ones you hold so dear

The sky is filled with stars and always so clear
The grass is as soft as the feathers of swans
The flowers look like rainbows ... look right here
All of us are kings and queens, there are no pawns

The riches are the hearts of angels that we hold
The smiles are so sincere, each and everyone
The trees are always dancing and never grow old
And mommy, the playground has swings..oh what fun

Don't shed tears for me of heart-torn sorrow
Don't worry about me, I am doing just fine
We will be together again in some distant morrow
Look to the heavens tonight, I will give you a sign

I love you mommy just as you show your love for me
I breathe in your soul and I live in your heart
Things are just fine, the way God wants them to be
We must all do as he wants, we must all do our part

{I love you mommy}

Love,
Michelle

[This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 10-28-2000).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

17 posted 2000-10-28 04:52 PM

Marge, my sweet sister, thank you for the hugs and tears.

Philip--thanks Philip..THE best comes from the heart.

Janet Marie--I think you are write about special love making special poetry...thank you for being so sweet...Love you too....
the picture of the child is beautiful!

Denise--Thank you so much for the touching verse...brought tears to my eyes.

Cindy--Blessings to you too...my thoughts are with you...Hugs!

Bill--thank you for the hug...your words are very special to me.

Mark--I have been very brave up until the reading of the verse you sent from Michelle...I could just picture in such a place..thank you for being such a good friend!

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

18 posted 2000-10-29 12:50 PM

Oh, Martie, my heart melts into a grief so deep - your poem is indescribably beautiful, poignant and more heartrending than there are English words for.

God bless little Michelle (He will), and God bless you.

By the way, everyone, if you want to see some gorgeous pictures of Michelle, as well as some of Martie's other exquisite poetry about her daughter, check out her site:
http://www.angelfire.com/zine/bereaved/michelleopen.html

(I hope you don't mind my shameless plug for your wonderful poetry and your lovely, beautiful, precious little one, Martie! - Rosemary)

< !signature-->

The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G.

[This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 10-29-2000).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

19 posted 2000-10-29 11:25 AM

Rosemary...You are such a dear friend..how could I ever mind anything you do...since you do everything with such love....Hugs!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

20 posted 2000-10-29 08:56 PM

Martie: I'd wanted to reply to this when I was online this morning... but AOL seems to have decided that even if I couldn't sleep for coughing, it could nap just fine. *S*

I know what it is to ache for a child, but one's never been mine to lose... I can't imagine a greater grief. This is powerful and poignant and heartbreaking... and stunningly beautiful.

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