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Open Poetry #10
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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2000-10-21 03:13 PM


That green machine whispers
anger in our ears
sometimes and we wonder
about that
fundamental desire
for control
of something
or someone

and maybe it's just
like the copy machine
making us mad on a Wednesday
after noon
when our blood sugar
drops off the cliff
and boils in our veins
because we can't control
what we can't

and that fundamental desire
for control is
the root of our fear
the root of what we want
because what we fear most
is being out of it

not that we'd recognize it
in ourselves
but we know it
when we see it
because it's different
than our distant
dream

and our vision of
Love of

making it
was greed
the satisfaction of our need
and we didn't
even know what it was
that needed us
because all we could see
was what we could see
and confused the
whole world with
our I's

we thought love was
about the object
of our affection  when we
sang it

"baby, I need your lovin"

but the song was
about our I's
and not the lover
because the object
of affection
was an
object
and one can't
be objective
when blinded
by  I's




[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 10-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2000-10-21 06:30 PM


Wow Reb, this is a powerful piece about selfish love. It really touched me and pulled at my heartstrings.
Be well
Kethry


Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2000-10-21 06:54 PM


I've always found it to be interesting, and sad, that the phrase "I love you" has I as the subject and focus of the thought. In my perfect world (which is still under construction) the correct phrase would be "You are loved by me", giving YOU the importance it deserves. Unfortunately, the way our society lives, the I's will always have it. Thought provoking and accurate, rebel man...
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2000-10-21 08:06 PM


Stunned by this one, awesome, powerful, just all around great!
Catalinamoon

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2000-10-21 08:33 PM


Rebel, you know you got what it takes to make this Florida girl's heart sink  
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2000-10-21 09:01 PM


Rebel--great thought, wonderfully done!
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
6 posted 2000-10-21 09:20 PM


you struck it just right with this one - I've no doubt - with every reader  -  thus when - we are not so needy - we must doubly concentrate on 'you' to make up for the 'I'.\

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
7 posted 2000-10-21 09:25 PM


Sweetheart: I can't sleep ...I look at the keyboard and U & I is next to Ohhh....guess that says it all...and then I think WYSIWYG...LOL

HUSG

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
8 posted 2000-10-22 01:50 PM


quote:
we thought love was
about the object
of our affection  when we
sang it
"baby, I need your lovin"
but the song was
about our I's
and not the lover
because the object
of affection
was an
object
and one can't
be objective
when blinded
by  I's


that really says it all, right there. sometimes it takes working through relationships which never work and then a certain maturity level to finally realize this, which you've so clearly stated. some people never realize it. it's in the giving that makes love thrive... not the need to be fulfilled and loved, but the act itself of giving it. the unselfish nature of this type of love makes love grow into something so beautiful that it all becomes love... the control issue is a big one and many people want to change their partners to be the vision of what they think could fulfill them, a selfishness that is nothing of love. but pure love is pure giving... not selfish need.

well written, rebellious feathered poet and i'm looking forward to part II.....  

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
9 posted 2000-10-23 11:40 AM


muchas gracias Kethry... glad this one tugged

Deer -- I like that -- maybe you should send the carpenters home... thanks

Catalina thanks...

Shadows... I hope sinking is a good thing?  I'd rather make one sing!!! lol  

Thanks Martie, Wil

Cindy... HuggsZZzzzzz!!!

Doreen thank YOU for YOUR time and attention -- part II will be coming up! (later in the week maybe)


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