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Open Poetry #10
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Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-10-21 11:21 AM


The darkness calls
Screaming out her name
Pulling her in
While she grabs hopelessly
For the light

Tears flood her eyes
As her footing slips
From the rock
That once was
Her heart

Determined not to fall
She clings to rememberence
Of what once was
The foundation still solid
While the walls vibrate with change

With each piece of plaster that falls
There is pain
Yet with firm foundation
The pain is bareable

She will not let her rock fall
Her foundation crack
For nothing in her life
Has been so strong
So constaint

With a deep breath
She calms her tears
Sets her footing
And weathers the storm
That is life; that is love

He can not abandon her
For he knows what she is
Even in his disbelieving
The truth is in his heart
His foundation, in her eyes

When the storm is finished
And the debries are cleared
Beauty most enchanting
Is rebuilt
On unshakable ground



When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face...

William Butler Yeats

© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
1 posted 2000-10-21 12:29 PM


Marylin~I liked this. How about On Unshakeable Ground for a title?

Elizabeth


Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near...
hedeservesbetter@hotmail.com


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-10-21 01:08 PM


Marilyn~
Nicely done, indeed.
I like the hope shown in the ending !

How about Weathering The Storm ?
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2000-10-21 04:40 PM


Wonderfully descriptive Marilyn! This flows so beautifully, and brings such vivid imagery to mind. I really enjoyed the sense of urgency built into the beginning, a wonderful piece!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-10-21 08:33 PM


Beautifully done, Marilyn! I like Elizabeth's and Marge's suggestions for a title.

Denise

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2000-10-21 11:29 PM


Evening Marilyn,

Like your writing, and glad I stopped by. How about 'From The Darkness' for a title?

Bill

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-10-23 04:06 PM


Thankyou all for your responses and for your ideas. I still am unsure of what to title this piece but I am sure it will come to me eventually. I loved all of your suggestions and will concider each of them.  
Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
7 posted 2000-10-23 04:22 PM


Marilyn, I enjoyed the way this piece works through the dark clouds...concluding with hope, and resolve.

Robert Joseph

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