Open Poetry #10 |
Run Around |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Run Around Run with me around, around the plum tree and through the fence into the vacant lot across the tall grass… I will hide my laughter in a walnut and throw it, throw it across the asphalt, and who I am will bounce and break across my future, my breath the rocket catapulting the days where love blooms and children hold my skirt, into the garden with the rake of commitment you and I. Don’t tell me of the girl, the one with blue eyes, the one with long blond hair, or the mornings of mourning when the sun didn’t ever come up and light was just a shadow and you were lost in it in a place you made to keep me out. Don’t tell me forever or touch my face like listening wind, if you had to clean the plate of all the sunny side ups I would still see the mashed potatoes and the broken dish laying against the cold floor of broken promises. Tell me my eyes are jewels and you will wear them while you can, you will tuck them inside your shirt and if you should want to hold me I will touch your heart there and all the fine pieces of us will break into tomorrow, for it isn’t easy, is it to lay out the future and the path winds, it winds sometimes to no where. |
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© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Martie ... this is so incredibly touching and left me feeling a sorrowful ache from within the depths of these words. Take care ... Best wishes, /Kit |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
whew! what a remarkable gift you have! you write in lace, dear lady! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Live for today and the visions and aspirations of tomorrow. So very "YOU" in this one. Did you know that there is now a term for "YOUR" poetry? I am making it so because...well because I feel like it...it shall be called "MARTIEVERSE" as you take the whole "UNI"verse and put it in each and every word in each and every "verse" of "Martie's".... > So how does it feel to be famous?? |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, You always fly like a butterfly and when I read your poetry your just as colorful. Sy |
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phoenix New Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 9 |
GREAT work! [This message has been edited by phoenix (edited 10-14-2000).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Martie- I have read more great poetry on these boards within the past few weeks than ever... you get better and better and better... this is a powerfully emotionally charged piece with a superior use of language... these lines really got to me quote: it's wonderful... really reall wonderful!!! i wish i wrote this. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
....."it winds sometimes to nowhere"..... Oh, Martie, this is really, really good!!! This is going to the top of my list, right now!!! Follow your dream! |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Martie, if you'ld just stop running maybe I could catch up. good reminisce... just keep it up Sis. I think I'll just run this up to the top. Always, dale Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am. To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight. -Marge Tindal |
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Robert Joseph Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491South Carolina |
Martie, I love the way this piece moves...like beads of water on polished glass. Greatly enjoyed!! Robert Joseph |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
:Tell me my eyes are jewels and you will wear them while you can," Martie, this is fabulous, so playful, I love that!!!!! Kathleen |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
You've read praise words from me before - for the poetry you posted - All I can say this time - is - I was wrong. You're not good, you're not very good, even 'Excellent' is incorrect. Any such mundane adjectives are totally inadequate (I lack enough *'s to describe this ~sigh~) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
when the sun didn’t ever come up and light was just a shadow and you were lost in it in a place you made to keep me out. Don’t tell me forever or touch my face like listening wind, ==================== Tell me my eyes are jewels and you will wear them while you can, you will tuck them inside your shirt and if you should want to hold me I will touch your heart there and all the fine pieces of us will break into tomorrow, for it isn’t easy, is it to lay out the future and the path winds, it winds sometimes to no where. =================== oh girl... ya get me with this one .. sometimes I feel like I been on that path forever this is touching, heartstring pulling poetry honest writing sweet poet take care of you for me ... K... love ya me |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit--I guess there is some ache in it, isn't there? Life is like that sometimes. serenity--Write in lace...wow! I love that, thank you! Mark--You are so cute...famous in your eyes feels great! Hi Sy...color is an important sense...I use it more then comman sense. Pheonix--thanks for reading...I appreciate your reply. Doreen--Thanks so much for your comments...I always enjoy what you have to say. Sunny--thanks for the top of the list...appreciate it. Dale--I do stop and look back, but you just must be too slow...or sweet or something. Robert Joseph--Beads of water on polished glass..how wonderful are these words!! Kathleen--thanks for letting me know you liked this. Bill--You certainly say the nicest things..you have me blushing and smiling...thanks! Janet--I'll take care of me for you, If you'll take care of you, for me...love ya! [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-15-2000).] |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Martie, your talent is amazing... Your poetry whispers elegance in every word... My compliments once again for an incredible write PoetLadyFriend Coco |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
One of the hallmarks of adequate beginners poetry is, i think, verse which sings but doesn't say much - practically everything i've read from you recently Martie "sings AND says" sheesh you are good philip |
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azure Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 52 |
This one just about floored me. What emotion, expressed so eloquently. I'm practically in tears - that's how I know a poem is good. Or, in Dickinson's words, a good poem "makes the top of my head come off". You've managed that and more with this incredible piece.< !signature--> Azure "I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much" - Sandra Cisneros [This message has been edited by azure (edited 10-17-2000).] |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Martie, Thank you for such a poignant poem. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Tell me my eyes are jewels and you will wear them while you can, you will tuck them inside your shirt and if you should want to hold me I will touch your heart there and all the fine pieces of us will break into tomorrow, for it isn’t easy, is it to lay out the future and the path winds, it winds sometimes to no where. -- explodes off the page Martie |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ 'into the garden with the rake of commitment you and I.' Yeah ... sometimes turning over old leaves makes good mulch for the new garden. You are incredibly talented - Yeah ... I know I've said it before - but good thoughts bear repeating ! Love ya'~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
(sorry these replies are so late..I been so busy) Coco--thanks for the compliment...and for the poet lady friend. Philip--I love getting a compliment from you...sings and says...Great! Azure--thank you for letting me know this poem moved you...I'm glad! Daniel--thank you for such a lovely reply. Rebel--thanks for the fire! Marge--Good friends bear huging...Hug!!! |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Martie-I felt this one, very lovely piece from your heart. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Martie* It seems that every time I read one of your poems I walk away from it shaking my head and thinking..."wow, how does she do that" I'll probably never know but I'm glad you keep doing it |
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