Open Poetry #10 |
Inter-mate |
natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
Back against the wall, The return of the fall days. A man eagerly lays, With his woman at side... Filled with pride, Their love is my hate, Forced to wait, To experience a dream, That seems so real, I can almost feel it, can you? What do I do? What's to be done? Still one and one, Waiting for two... What do I do? Passion plays for three, Forgetting me, But ignore me and see, I will win.. Life without sin. Just you, just you... Better, I say, At the end of the day, More fulfilling, Always willing, To be alone, If it means I won't be anymore. To see four open doors, And still awaitng more... Smiling, I grace it's heart, And now, it finally starts... The truth is so true, Where before, just lies, Where you are just you, And I, well I am you too... With a tip of the hat, A top hat at that, And a bow to your father's distrust... He scornfully warns of me, To his elated firstborn, And must know where we're at, At all times... "Be home by five, or uhh, six." Exchange of saliva picks up my mood, My first kiss- OUR first kiss... And so was her tongue where once was my food. A smile of obvious bliss... Seven days heaven, But then comes the end... My soulmate, my lover, my friend... And her face is still showing, Still ever glowing, With a bright and red-ish blush... "These next eight months will go with a rush, And I will be where you live, You'll see sweetie..." Back to the net, untill nine each night, But this time not worried, I have her, she's mine, and all is right... *bows* |
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© Copyright 2000 Nathan Preston Langford - All Rights Reserved | |||
natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
Ok ok ok... I know it's long, and it probably really sucks, but, please have patience with me... I'm onlt 15 years old, lol... This was written out of anticipation of meeting my soulmate for the first time, whom I met on the internet 4 months ago... My planned visit to see her in Philladelphia, PA is this December, and it is ALL I can think about... The beginning shows my frustration with those who have the luxary of feeling their 'significant other...' And, incase you were wondering why I had a count of some sort, from 1 to 9, I have no answer, lol, sorry... I guess it just kept me writing... Thank you very much to all those who read this... *bows* A man in a bubble is a man in trouble. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Natelan~ Welcome to Passions. Hope your meeting in December goes well for you. 'Still one and one, Waiting for two...' Nice anticipation thought... ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
I hope your meeting goes well too. I really like this, and welcome to Passions. Marsha |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I love this! Welcome to Passions, that someone would write something so honest and real, it's great! It gave me a feeling of respect that is sadly lacking with many people. Kathleen |
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natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
*bows* Thank you oh so very much, both Marge and Marsha... It's rare that I gain support in the matter of meeting Amy, my soulmate. And thanks for welcomming me... I feel at home already, teehee. *bows* A man in a bubble is a man in trouble. |
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natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
*bows* OH NO!!! lol... I apologize Irish Rose, when I had last viewd my post, your reply was not updated... So now, my many thanks to you aswell. *bows* A man in a bubble is a man in trouble. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
This was quite well written! You clearly have a lot of talent . I could understand the poem without your explanation but i think it's great that you came back to give some background to it. I hope your meeting with your friend is all you anticipate and more! |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Welcome, enjoyed reading your poem. hoping that your meeting december goes well. can feel your anticipation.... Charisma |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Natelan~ Welcome! this was great, and I gotta say, good luck in Dec. I hope it all goes the way you are hoping it will. -SEA |
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natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
*bows* Well, thank you very much, Doreen and Charisma, from the bottem of my heart. All your warm welcomes are greatly appreciated. *bows* A man in a bubble is a man in trouble. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to Passions! This is a great first entry! Please check your email. Make yourself at home, read some of our forums - if you have questions, anyone would be happy to help you! |
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natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
*bows* Thank you Sea and PDV ... o O ( Hmm, that rhymes... ) *jots that down* hehehe, j/k... I have a teensy bit of netpoets experience, I was once a member under a different handle, though my memory fails me as to what it was... I'm glad to see that not much has changed (which is good), but uhh, one question... Anyone seen 'Cerenity-1' lately? Thank you all, again. A man in a bubble is a man in trouble. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
A great writing style with a fantastic expression of your feelings...Best of luck to you and welcome to Passions~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"My first kiss-our first kiss and so was her tongue where once was my food. A smile of ovious bliss." I enjoyed these lines and some others...nice writing...good luck in this relationship...James |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Nate~ may i first formally say...welcome to Passions. Secondly this is an awesome piece. Seems you and I have a lot in common. I met my soul-mate about a year and a half ago in on the internet. and they are in Indiana and I in North Carolina. Secondly, your soul-mate's name is Amy...lol But seriously a very interesting and well thought out poem you have here. Good luck in Dec. I'll cross my fingers for ya. But I'm sure if you two clicked as well as you seemed to have...all will go just fine. Take care. Amy P.S. Thank you for such a heartfelt reply to my poem Heart and Soul. "The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences" |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
natelan, Wonderful writing here. So real and full of emotion. Very nice. Welcome to Passions. Hope to see more of you. Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
Butterflies- I appreciate your welcome dearly, and thank you again, for reading and reviewing my poem, especially with such wonderful critisicm... James- Yeah, hehehe, I'm proud of that line, teehee... I'd like to thank you aswell for your positive comments, and for your blessing with my relationship. Amy- Yes, the similarities are entertaining, to say the least... Your words of faith mean much to me, and I'd like to respond by wishing you and your soulmate best of luck together in life. Thanks again. ) Lone Wolf- I have had the honor of reading some of your poems, and such a wonderful review from a great author/poet as yourself, truly means a lot... Thank you. You are all so kind *bows* Nathan |
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natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
Amy, lol, That face was not intended, please do not take that as an insult, lol, really sorry about that!!! It was supposed to be a smiley face... Stupid typos! hehehe Nathan |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Welcome to our world...and NEVER NEVER apologize for writing your heart...its what we are here to do...all of us... |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Welcome to Passions and what a lovely way to enter. I too hope your meeting in December goes well. Look forward to reading more from you. |
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natelan Junior Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 34Escondido, CA, USA |
Much appreciation, Mark and Paula... Thank you Nathan |
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antibiotic New Member
since 2000-10-12
Posts 2 |
this is really nice, it sounds like one from an experience poet, would have never guessed your youth....good luck with your love [This message has been edited by antibiotic (edited 10-12-2000).] |
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