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Open Poetry #7
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Misconceptioning
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Misconceptioning |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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arid waterfalls of a tear-stained reflectioning scream silence into her eyes whil’st she dwells denial in transient dreaming foregoing faith for pain in the solitary crowding of her thoughtless mind’s beseechments sharing a past with herself in a future never-come so- she blinks away the sounding of hope’s doubtfully caressing since she only sees the changes and never sees the change |
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| © Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
woah deep as always...ouch |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
*oofff* That's the sound of the wind being knocked out of me...  I started writing down the lines that I dug the most, but I ended up rewriting the whole thing. I'll point out one bit though: since she only sees the changes and never sees the change YES! Love that! I see a person in this that wants so badly to 'see' something that isn't there...that they, in their own mind, create it; and end up getting themselves hurt over their mind's own misconceptions. Oh, but I could be way off. An' that's okay too.(how many punctuations can Nicole use to make the sentance as long as possible???)  |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Wow Christopher an arid waterfall HOW absolutely original --- this is a great poem --- netswan |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This was breathtaking in the paradox you portrayed. "arid waterfalls" yes, tears do not always leave us feeling cleansed, sometimes they leave us hollow, and dry. I loved this one. Kathleen |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Christopher* Written as it often is in our own minds.....a struggle of emotions and perceptions that take us in many different directions and a fight to keep what we have lost. As I read the last lines I thought......yes we are often the last ones to see whats going on especially in our own lives and most of all even when the "answer" lays in front of us....we walk around it. This was thoughtful and perceptively painful piece that gave me many a reason to pause this a.m. and ponder the perception and the misconceptions of others around me...and well yes I must admit...my own as well. Hold me for yesterday Kiss me for tomorrow But love me for today. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
My friend, I have not nearly the time nor the presence of mind to fashion the type of reply that this piece deserves, and yet I cannot be silent ... so- " she blinks away the sounding of hope’s doubtfully caressing since she only sees the changes and never sees the change" There is so much in those words -- hope, pain, doubt, desire, fear, perseverance, resignation -- a plethora of conflicting emotions, artfully spun into a few beautifully crafted lines. You, my friend, are many things -- some of which are best not repeated in polite company (hehehe) -- but you are also: A poet. Well done. --Me [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 04-28-2000).] |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Very deep, very moving, in the shape of a waterfall, even! And woefully, I can relate to it much too well from a time in my past. Very well written. |
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Cassanova Junior Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 39Turlock, Ca. |
Chris - I hate to say it- but I'm not sure I understand this correctly... I read the other's replies but I must be missing something because I can't see it. Maybe it's too vagie...don't know something for you to think about. It IS pretty though and does look like a waterfall. I think I'm just a bit confused. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Kapow! Amazing piece Chris. I think I have to put this one at the top of my list of favorites. It jumped all over my screen while still flowing gently down the page. You never fail to astound me. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Whoa! The beginning lines just grabbed me and the end just sunk me! Never sees the changes! Haunting but really touched me! <*\\\>< Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Christopher, this is a beautiful poem. It really touched me... It is so true. I love the ending. Great job. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
I won't say "Wow!" or "Beautiful poem!", or any other remark that you seem to find unworthy on this forum. How's this... Nicely written...I got it...I felt it... |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
I love it. May i aspire to know you kick ass-ness.. Favorite part: "forgoeing faith for pain." I feel you. We all got somethin' we need to atone for. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"in transient dreaming..." you've just written my epitaph... (But DO smile anyway, I mean that in only the most joyful manner...should we stick to the theme of opposites...) ----still another 'soft-shoe' exit from "serenity"----luv'n'hugs.... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
arid waterfalls of a tear-stained reflectioning scream silence into her eyes whil’st she dwells denial in transient dreaming foregoing faith for pain --------------------- only sees the changes and never sees the change. ----------- this is exceptional writing...truly I hope that when you layed your poets pen down upon its completion...you were very proud and satisfied with it... you should be... its depth of emotion and vision is of perfection. you wrote my soul in this one... (have you been peeking) *smile* awesome poem Chris... ~as always, Take Care,JM~ -------------- I know it's been a long road To get these towns behind me and I Will gladly reap what we may sow-- I am there for you ... and you're there for me ... Are you waiting for Heart in hand Woman and man See me where I stand I am Heart Heart in hand ~vertical horizon~ |
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
WOW!....Awesome verse! "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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