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Open Poetry #7
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Unto Thee
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Unto Thee |
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Cassanova Junior Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 39Turlock, Ca. |
here I stand, my heart open to, thee. bared naked, shed of all... save a smile, for thee I offer it up freely, my mind, my hopes, my love, offered only unto, thee let the shades of our pain, cease their dancing feet, and rest... let us: lay them down, lay them down with us, as I lie in peace, with thee |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jason Monarch - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PrincessPoet Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133Long Beach, Calif. |
It is not always easy opening up our hearts to someone, Matter or fact sometimes it can be down right scary! Love is the Light, Forward is the Motion. Poetry & Frienship, From: PrincessPoet |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
very nice work here... perfect form and presentation... loved the "thee's" and the "naked save the smile" line very nice indeed. take care, jm Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders And it makes me want to touch you there. And the light in your eyes makes me feel Like there's something much better out there Something kind... And I know someday I might be looking around Trying to find some purpose Well purpose it can't be that hard to find As long as I've got the wind... The wind and your love to carry me. vertical horizon |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Unto to thee, I give my post!!! wonderful!!!beautiful! lovely!!!  |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Well now Jason! Come right out with a second big bang!!! Bravo, my friend! Keep 'em coming! |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
and my sincerest thanks, and congratulations to thee -- for a poem heartfelt and sigh-inspiring.  --Kess< !signature--> Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 04-17-2000).] |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Love the format. Very very nice. lets see, did RH already see this. Yep she did. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is very lovely! Denise |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I liked this a lot...lets get this out of the way...are you related to that Italian guy that was romancing all those women a couple hundred years ago in Italy and France? James |
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Cassanova Junior Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 39Turlock, Ca. |
Thank you everyone!!! You're all so kind to even pretend you like my work!!! Especially you Skyfyre! I've read several of your pieces and I am IMPRESSED! Jason |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Jason, I enjoyed your writing here. This particular snippet drew me... "let the shades of our pain, cease their dancing feet, and rest..." Lovely verse, I must say. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Cassanova Junior Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 39Turlock, Ca. |
Thank you Meadowmuse! Chris said that was his favorite part too. LOL, I think his exact words were: "This rocks, but I don't care too much for the rest of it!" LOL He's helping me edit it right now! |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Jason, Jason...and you trust his opinion?? Have you learn't nothing?!? LOL  (teasin')In all actuallity, I've been waiting to sign up for poetic lessons from him, but the guy just won' have me! Said something about squeezing blood from stones.. *sigh*  I like the poem, personally, and in its entirety. |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Cassanova - WONDERFUL! A beautiful poem, fueled by beautiful emotions. Author, author!  Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ooohhh...wrap it up, I'll take it.... quietly sweet and sincere--beautiful! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I didn't say the rest sucked... I only said that if I were to have written it, I might have done it a bit differently. YOU asked! Geesh! |
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