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Catholic Tiers
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Catholic Tiers |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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 penitent tears bastioned freedom shadowed hope mystical chambered lies hallowed pain death rejoicing tempered example housing of treachery smiled wallowing greed emptiness creed mockery need religiously bleed camped 'neath halls of dreaming borne into the heart besworn chalice wrought, damned, forlorn rested 'pon angled wings afire tested song claim will o'er desire
divinity- abstracted anomaly breathed by those who would be king but settled for god "So you have issues with Catholicism?" "I have issues with anyone who treats God like a curse instead of the blessing she really is." The last Zion & the muse Serendipity. -Dogma |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Excellently done Sir...intricate, well thought out, and of course echoes so many of my thoughts. camped 'neath halls of dreaming borne into the heart besworn chalice wrought, damned, forlorn But does being forlorn come from abandonment or realisation? (Oh yeah - and you're going to have to take two hours or so to teach me how to do those coloUr things...  ) K |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Well Chris, You've spilled some very powerful words on this page here my friend. Glad to see you've popped in for a quick visit! Look forward to the next. ~Sheri |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Heavy stuff!!!! Really liked the style and the content. and devinity, well, now we know!! ~~Nice writing Christopher, and thanks for the e-mail. A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"those who would be king but settled for god" this is extraordinary, Christopher...you will be teaching me about form and structure, now won't you? (I know, I know, and I HAVE been reading...) |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Heavy, Christopher, I've written several poems reflecting my feelings about the Catholic religion, and have had a couple of hate mails sent to me, too. Brave you are to speak your mind, never let anyone tell you what NOT to write. Corinne |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This, my friend, has the makings of an excellent piece of poetry ... The Catholic "faith" (or lack thereof, as the case may be) has been a point of contention with me since my early childhood, rife with the "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy that seems prevalent amongst almost ALL sects of organized religion I have encountered. It just so happened that the Catholic dogma was what was being shoved down my throat at an early age, so I suppose I have an ingrained gag reflex to it ... Without going too far into the wherefore and why of MY distaste for the subject, I must suggest that this poem begs that you delve deeper into yours. The first few stanzas build up a great deal of angst, which unfortunately turns out to be grounded in midair -- your "accusations," as it were, are painfully vague and thus not as effective as they could be. Akin to spouting off at the mouth -- were a person to read those few lines without the benefit of the title, they would more likely than not have no idea what you were raging at. OK, time for the 180 -- the last phrase was positively BRILLIANT -- which is why I beg, plead, and hey, what the hell, DEMAND that you rework this to bring the rest up to the standard you so poignantly set for yourself at the end. --Me PS: Oh yeah -- and lose the colors -- they're tacky. What were you going for, the stained-glass-window effect? < !signature-->Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 06-07-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Not a christian, but I could imagine your rife with 'catholicism', I have much the same with mine imposed religion, more so from its followers.... CUT okay back to your poem, it is POWERFUL, creative, and POIGNANT, and colourful too... Regards, sudhir. Hey you, out there in the cold, Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisle, With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me? Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own, Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me? Hey you, with your ear against the wall, Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home.... by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
WOW well written powerful poem, I can really relate. Catholicism was part of my life until it started to clash with my life. It can have a hold over people's lives and blind them. I have no problems with people feeling a sense of fulfillment in religion as long as they remember to think for themselves. Again very well written, great structure. great poem. ------------------------ "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Libraries gave us power Then work came and made us free What price now for a shallow piece of dignity" Nicky Wire, A design for Life. manic street preachers "Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany Culture, alienation, boredom and despair" "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. |
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Lorraine Nisbet Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 218Jersey City, NJ USA |
Chris~ Poignant...And Bravo!! ~Lorraine |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Chris* I'm not well versed in the Catholic Faith...working for several years at a Catholic Hospital has been my only tie to the Catholic Church. Your words and the echo's I've heard from others here leave me with an unsettled feeling, any religion (and there are many) that pushes a person from God and leaves such a bitter taste is a tragedy in my eyes You have shown this through your powerful words. You said so much with so few words, which always amazes me when I read your work, as you have seen...I take pages to get my point across ...lol On that note I will say that this is a deep and powerful piece Christopher, you have given me much to ponder and some research to do...lol I hate having more questions than answers as is true in this case....a great piece in my opinion is one that makes me pause and think a moment...this one does that! Thank you for sharing this. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Well, I've already told you what I think of this poem m'friend. You've definately made me think, and realize just how little I know about the Catholic Faith, and well...religion in general, for that matter. I do appreciate that stimulation of thought. I will reiterate though, how much the last two stanzas grabbed me especially. This one: to love is to hate to hate is to believe to believe is to live to live is to die to die is divine Creates such an image to me...It reads like a mantra, and the grey coloring gives it such a cold, impersonal feel. I can just picture hundreds of thousands of people with eyes glazed over, chanting this in a droning monotone. The last stanza by itself drives everything home, and coupled with the significance of the colors you've used there add that much more. Well done, m'dear! Very well done. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
First off, I want to thank everyone who commented on this and also those who didn't because they wanted to be nice! While claiming the faith (LOL) of an agnostic, I applaud others for following what they believe in. Faith is a precious thing I think if it runs true. My obvious issue here is with those who proclaim such and practice another. I have a big beef with hypocrites. Personally, I don't care what god you do/don't folow, believe in, worship. But don't lay claim to a higher state and look down your nose at me, the infidel unbeliever, while your only truly religious practice in life is to live it for yourself. (Know what I mean?) Every color in this poem has signifigance with either the word or line related to it. (Nicole was the only one to figure that out!) Anyway, I spent a considerable amount of time with the coloring for that reason... Shrug, and then I get comments about "stained glass windows!" ROFL (Kess, you're a brat!) Well, sorry it took me so long, but thank you everyone! Peace, Christopher |
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