Piercing (now it's a haiku)

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Open Poetry #7

Piercing (now it's a haiku)

mariee66
Senior Member

since 2000-01-30

Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind

0 posted 2000-04-20 07:21 PM

Words--like a needle,
Guided slowly by your tone,
Piercing tender soul.

[This message has been edited by mariee66 (edited 04-20-2000).]

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

1 posted 2000-04-20 08:03 PM

*smiles* Deep.

The haiku is one of the easiest, and hardest forms of poetry. By Western standards, a haiku has three lines consisting of five, seven and five syllables. By Eastern standards, this would be a senyru, unless it contained a naturistic or philosophical theme or truth...then it would be a haiku.

But don't mind me...write how you wanna write.

Alicat, the persnickety Persnikitty

mariee66
Senior Member

since 2000-01-30

Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind

2 posted 2000-04-20 08:08 PM

Ahhh...I got it!
Why thank you~
Marie~

David2
Member

since 2000-03-22

Posts 407

3 posted 2000-04-20 08:18 PM

Marie,
You packed a tone of feeling into three lines. Good work.
david2

mariee66
Senior Member

since 2000-01-30

Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind

4 posted 2000-04-20 08:54 PM

Thanks David~

Marie~

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

5 posted 2000-04-20 09:40 PM

Harsh unfeeling words~
Like a knife stabbing my soul~
Heart breaks,red blood flows...

lovely senyru from you,mariee66....looking 4ward to more delightful haiku/senyrus from you!

mariee66
Senior Member

since 2000-01-30

Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind

6 posted 2000-04-20 11:09 PM

I went back to revise this...it's now a haiku~

Thanks for reading and liking~

Marie~

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