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Open Poetry #7
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Casting Flowers (A Sonnet) (Revised a little bit)
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Casting Flowers (A Sonnet) (Revised a little bit) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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Between the splashing drops that freely flow Blue eyes behold a flash of deja-vu That lights a path to times of long ago I walk the rain soaked streets in search of you. My heart yearns once again those days so fair For cloud free azure skies that fill my mind My spirit running free without a care Through sun drenched meadows that were left behind. The tempest ravaged innocence in waves That crashed in violence upon the shore In fathoms deep your grave that now enslaves Holds fast its captive on the ocean floor. Beside the tide I gaze upon the sea While casting flowers to your memory. Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 04-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Denise, very beautiful, I love a sonnet with so much meaning. Parker |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This is bittersweet and lovely, Denise...I especially enjoy the perfection of your last line to bring it all 'round. ~ Claire |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
ooohhh Denise, this is so pretty and im sooo jealous...I have been wanting to try a sonnet too...but it seem so hard to get the meter and count and all those "rules" LOL i was never good at following rules *S* wonderful work!! take care kind poet, jm Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders And it makes me want to touch you there. And the light in your eyes makes me feel Like there's something much better out there Something kind... And I know someday I might be looking around Trying to find some purpose Well purpose it can't be that hard to find As long as I've got the wind... The wind and your love to carry me. vertical horizon |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Question..... What exactly are the rules to writing a sonnet, are they on the site anywhere. I must know this, I think I would like to write one soon. Where can I go, to find the answers. They are much too beautiful to ignor. Parker |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
beautifully done. (as your sonnets always are) |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
This is a very beautiful and deep piece Denise! Nathan |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Parker, Claire, Janet Marie, Mike and Nate for your kind comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Parker, here is a link to Nan's Workshop on the Sonnet. I'm sure you'll find it informative. /pip/Forum22/HTML/000042.html |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is so lovely, Denise! |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Very beautiful, you know how much I enjoy this form and you more than did it justice. Quite charming. David2  |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
very lovely, beautiful, full of love,  |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Denise this is beautiful, I was almost in tears. I'm glad to see your muse is back with you. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Beautifully done, Denise......... |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Denise what words can I use to explain? Ya sure got a sonnet frenzy started here LOL Beautiful work deserves to be praised Denise! Where ya been hiding? Hugs!! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A Sonnet by Denise No sweeter song in all the world Liz |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Loved it ... read it over and over again ... it reads so smooth and beautiful Rex}>{{{{o> |
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bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
D~ Just happened to be passing through and noticed a sonnet written by you. The only flea-sized quibble would be in the first line, where you write, "in search of you" Perhaps change to "with dreams of you" or "with thoughts of you". Why? Because you know at the end of the poem that you are going to be "casting flowers" for the memory of the person as that is the title of the poem. Other than that, I liked the metaphor of the ocean. best regards, bboog [This message has been edited by bboog (edited 04-21-2000).] |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Beautifully expressed , Denise ..... Lovely piece ..... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you so much, Martie, David, Romantic Heart, Gloria, Balladeer, Rebecca, Elizabeth, Rex, Bob and Pepper for taking the time to read and comment! It is always appreciated! Bob-I made the first line the fourth line now in an attempt to better get across the point that I am searching through time, so to speak. There are a couple of ways to interpet this, and on first reading I know that it sounds that I am searching for a person. My intent was to show my search through the past for my lost innocence, my childhood, that is, of course, gone forever and the closing lines are meant to indicate my final acceptance of that fact. I hope the editing made that a little clearer. Thanks for your suggestions. Denise |
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bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
D~ The editing did make it better. Thanks! bboog |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You're welcome, Bob. Glad you liked the changes! Denise |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Denise, this one needed a second round for it is great. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
OOPS, I double posted, shame on me...LOL [This message has been edited by Lost Dreamer (edited 05-12-2000).] |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Sigh ... what a lovely vision, and a tragic demise. Moving, Denise, and well-written besides ... Applause from the critic's corner ... --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I like this piece, Denise - the final couplet most of all - Very nicely done - of course - I expect nothing less from you..  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Gloria, Gloria (hehehe), Kess and Nan for reading and for your kind comments. They are appreciated! Denise |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Denise~ How did I ever miss this little beauty? Nobody does a sonnet better than you. I'm always reminded of - 'Blue bells, cockleshells sonnets all in a row .. Denise is quite the 'sonnetier' that's how her garden grows. Love ya, gal. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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ashley cain Junior Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 30Texas |
That was so beautiful. I think everyone has experienced a death, a heartbreak, or some other tragedy in their lives. Although, no one could describe it as eloquent as that. |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Denise - this is wonderful sonnet. I am very glad I stopped in to read it netswan |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Marge, Ashley and Teresa for your wonderful replies! Denise |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is a wonderful sonnet Denise. I've bookmarked Nan's instruction page, and will have to have a read-through to refresh my memory. I haven't tackled one since high school (now I'm feeling much too old)! You've inspired me to give it a go! Lovely work. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Your thoughts expressed with eloquence divine with style that does out-shine such works of mine . Doc |
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Kellsue Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 210Waukesha, WI USA |
Denise ~ this was beautiful...it's inspired me to learn once again how to write a sonnet...I loved this. ~Kelly  ~Kellsue Reflect upon your present blessings-of which every man has many-not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. ~Charles Dickens We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Kit, Dr.Moose and Kelly for reading and for your lovely comments! Denise |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Denise... this is absolutely lovely... an awesome tribute in well crafted verse... excellent!!!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Doreen, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Denise |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
nice imagery here.... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Beki! Denise |
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