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Open Poetry #7
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Yesterdays Revisited - Life's grand theft
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Yesterdays Revisited - Life's grand theft |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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Friends, this one is a long one, so please bear with me. All the same, I wish to receive all comments and critiques....I don't know how I managed to write all this, but I just did I think. It is now upto you to pass a judgement... < !signature-->Yesterdays Revisited - Life's grand theft +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I ponder ~~~~~~~~ Spontaneous thoughts, black wall, Long drawn curtains, blocking daylight, Dark figures, shady shadows crawling tall, Images from those days come into troubled sight Tentacles of yesterday come to bite, Walls of this empty room bound to crush, A paper boat, drowning, floating not so quite, A whirlpool of sorrowful tears, unfortunate rush. Flashback ~~~~~~~~~ Sitting on mid-summer's bar stool, sipping my cooling drink of ale, Nay, not liquor, it tended to hinder my cool, a dash of lime, the time so pale, Evening sun had set, dropping the thermometer by many a degree Neon lamps were lit, flashing on the night's light, to my heart setting out a flame's decree. A lady in a red skirt, long legs I saw, Silhouetted svelte figure, slender neck, Stylish blonde hair, I beheld agape, An open jaw, as for the lass, she walked past the deck. Grabbing the bar, I held myself still, wondering if she would ever turn, and look, Suddenly, she turned staring right through, a slanted glance, a half-smile, an invitation I took. Got off the stool, walked to her, gingerly, passed a customary greeting, a cursory glance, I pored deep into her bluish eyes, was lovely, a face - most fascinating, and a glitter - a trance. I offered her a hand while music blared, Swing-time it wreaked, salsa I never knew, A rose, placed in her mouth, delicate and cared, The aim now was to take the rose away, whew! Surprising myself, I did quite well, as I effortless lifted her light body Claps around, cheers did swell, a little blush, she had me transfixed already. A gentle kiss, a nod of the head, she brushed my hair, arousing my furious passion, Soft, tender skin, I caressed her neck instead, she seemed to love it, and liquor was back in fashion. A shot of tequila, gin or whisky with ice, whatever it took, To calm my nerves, I was ready to have a go, A few drinks later, a 'long-island ice tea' was up, felt like a spook, She gently whispered, "shall we go?" What she saw in me, I would never know, I was happy, gladdened to the skies, Starry summer night- tempestuous celestial show, Tonight, I was ready to go to all highs A few days went by, as weeks rolled on, Two lovebirds chirped melodies into the summer skies, Two creatures whispering in a language of their own, Two lives joined as one soul to rise. Soon, the beautiful warm season came to an end, Dark clouds gathered, the sun had given way, Heavy rains lashed, lightning struck, violent trend, Bickering became common features, quarrels many each day, Warmth in the land had drifted apart, Peace of soul, love had withered away, With loving words, I caressed her heart, Alas! Couldn't cool her tempest, had to give way. She left me, sought another man, took away my money that I did not mind, Called me names, I shoved them in a can, heart broken, bruised, I was left behind. Two hearts had joined in unison, one soul, when the soul then breaks away, The body is left without a goal - listless predicament of life's travesty makes headway. I sight visions ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To this day, I see them sights, Her lovely face, her blue eyes bright, Half-opened lips, innocence that invites, Casual, angel-winged heart the passion it ignites. Each time, I take a look at nature's delights, Brilliant radiant, shiny faces, beautiful smiles, My heart pulsates, sadly, deprived of lights, Each photo from beauty magazines, my soul hitherto defiles Conclusions ~~~~~~~~~~~ I had quenched my thirst with beauty, Tried to cling on to its wealth, used all my might Had overdone my love perhaps, a pity, Now I learned, all that glittered was not a golden sight… But to this day, the sour taste remained, Of ills that the past relation left, Dark throes feeling injustice, nothing gained Denial of life's pleasure, life's grand theft… +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yesterdays Revisited in May 2000 ~ Hey you, out there in the cold, Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisle, With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me? Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own, Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me? Hey you, with your ear against the wall, Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home.... by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 05-31-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh wow. This was not too long, a wondrous story, words, sights, sounds, visions...you did this beautifully and the only thing you could change would be to let us all hope in our hearts that you will love once again...if for no other reason than to write more ~ "To this day, I see them sights, Her lovely face, her blue eyes bright, Half-opened lips, innocence that invites, Casual, angel-winged heart the passion it ignites." Spellbound, I am! Sunshine Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sudhir, it's not too long at all..a fascinating tale! I really enjoyed it...  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sudhir--a sensory ride with you...excellent and vividly told....and much enjoyed! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
You have lived an incredible romantic adventure my friend and sometimes all good things might end. Keep all the good thoughts close to your heart for you never know where an adventure might stop or start. James |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Sir, I applaud this one, few people can express feelings the way you have in this GREAT piece of writing. Reminded me that we have to stop and smell the roses now and then  All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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shilpi Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 73 |
sudhir.....now, what can I say to make you understand exactly how i feel ? As always, you've left me speechless....its, its so vivid and magnificent !! An exceptional one, you've wrote !! Reading through the poem, was like reliving a certain phase of life, But to this day, the sour taste remained, Of ills that the past relation left, Dark throes feeling injustice, nothing gained Denial of life's pleasure, life's grand theft… ohhh true, so true .... Its astounding how you express with such expertise and gift !! Warm wishes shilpi |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Sudhir~ This is not too long as it kept the audience captivated...What a piece, this is so visually alive my friend. such truth in your words when you said "All that glittered was not a golden sight" sometimes we are blinded by it's beauty. Hugs Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Sudhir, you wrote a wondrous piece, 'Twas not too long my friend, For by the time I finished it, I'd want it not to end! Wonderful, nostalgic and thoughtful writing Sudhir ... a story told so vividly as if it were yesterday. Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ok - you can stop now. You can stop blowing me over with your poetry or I won't get up again! LOL. EXCELLENT Sudhir... K |
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killer222 Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 48Northolt,Middlesex,England |
Excellent, not to long at all. "shun the frumious Bandersnatch!" Killer222 :) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Feels amazing to see that all of you wonderful people actually took time to read this and then posted your wonderful replies... One common sentiment expressed was this was not too long...Am I not glad to hear that? Thank you for that one. I was almost cringing thinking most might not like this one because of the sheer length. But I am glad that I could connect the whole piece together... Now let me thank each one of you for ypur lavish praises. Karilea, Spellbound, some magic I must have weaved then, I am grateful...I am keeping the hope of future friendships and love alive in my heart, soon it should transcribe into poetry, thats my fervent desire...You are really caring, Karilea. Thanks for that too. PdV, To be judged as fascinating and to know the fact that you enjoyed this one, gives me immense pleasures to proceed into further forays of poetry... Thank you. Martie, really glad that you enjoyed this one... thanks a lot... James, Thank you, I will stitch your advice to my soul's pages, lest I forget... Jeffery, You are one lavish showerer of praises, sir and all....GREAT, huh? Thanks. shilpi, as always you have continued throwing petals of praises this way. Thanks. Tracie, Thanks to you too, my friend, and hugs returned with interest... Kit, you captured the title, adn also the moment. It actually feels like yesterday still...thanks for reading, nostalgic, eh? I will remember that for a long time Kamla, I am stopping now and take a few days off, visiting Venice, so you are sure that you are not blown off but again, that you felt the fear of this happening, is a tribute to what I managed to scribble... Thanks.Killer222, Thanks a lot for reading.... Once again, I thank you all for reading this one and also many others from before.... Regards, sudhir Hey you, out there in the cold, Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisle, With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me? Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own, Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me? Hey you, with your ear against the wall, Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home.... by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Wonderfully told, Sudhir, and not too long because of how well it's told. It is gratifying to the reader to be able to follow the story to it's completion, and so I think the format was perfect, the way you broke it up, rather than have it be one long set of stanzas... And now, time to turn your head and see the other beauties waiting out there for you! Peace. Corinne |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Sudhir this floored me...was filled with poetic magic, intense powerful feelings that left me breathless, and an overwhelming feeling of sadness yet it was beautiful writing all at once. you have an amazing talent my friend and i look very much forward to reading more from you. thank you ever so much for reading & responding to my work as well. you have NO idea how much it means to me. i pray that you find a love very soon who is worthy of you. wishing you nothing but the best. fondly, amy "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is before you can meet again. And meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends." |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Very nice indeed. Well written Sudhir. Marina |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This was one difficult piece to write and I thoroughly enjoyed doing so... Corinne, Thank you first for reading, next for your response and then for giving me hope. Peace to you too, and thanks again... Amy, same feelings here. I feel so appreciated and important when all of you read my poems and even more so when lovely, wonderful people pass beautiful comments. They really mean a lot to me and give me strength to face another day, write another one... Thanks a lot for praying... I feel hopeful now. Thanks again. Marina, Thanks for your praises and for reading this poem. Thank you all... Many regards, Sudhir. P.S. Just came back from Venice last night, and today, I am busy replying to each of your views on many of my poems. I am drowning with sweet emotions now, and feel very happy to be a proud member of this family...I am perennially behind reading all the wonderful poems that you all have written meanwhile. So bear with me while I take my time... |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hi Sudhir It's a nice poem full of past and present images. I feel the same way to some extent. It made me a strong person after a lot of pondering. Sincerely A_L |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
A_L, I feel proud to have succeeded in ringing a bell and am glad that it touched you in a way... Thanks for reading Regards, sudhir |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Your writing is so captivatiing, it has no length, only depth. (Why do I have a sour taste in my mouth?0 Very well done, Sudhir, If this were a theatre, the applause would be deafening Liz |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Liz, Thank you for your lavish praises... So there is depth, guess what I have become multi-dimensional now WOW, what a sense of a achievement. deafening applause, you are being too lavish here, any way, I bow to thank you. regards, sudhir |
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