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Open Poetry #7
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Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

0 posted 2000-05-29 09:28 AM


Crumbling

Crumbling
to pieces
like a fallen
cinder block
dropped
from ten feet up
in the lost atmosphere
laughing
at the ground
as each minute particle
breaks
into thousands
of sniveling voices forged.

Have you
not seen
the mischievous lord of play
creeping,
crawling
through shapeless dark images
within
happy people
left out to dry in backyards.

He plots
he twists
he mangles
those minds to shreds
blustering clouds
fledge overhead
milking thunder
as lightening
screamingly
threatens to undermine all.

See
my name shudder
as written in the clouds eye
tomorrow
may be a day
full of happiness and love
but today is
my nightmare
of despair and sadness blaring.

© Copyright 2000 RiaL - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-05-29 09:39 AM


Looks like a pretty grim situation, quite dark, and challenging, tempting me to add, but I try to stay calm and hope to give my complete moral support and well-wishes to you. GET UP, and let your spirits soar....

A fine piece of poetic work, I must add, but methinks its time for you to celebrate life...

Regards, sudhir...


 Hey you, out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisle,
With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me?
Hey you, don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
Hey you, out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?
Hey you, with your ear against the wall,
Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home....

by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-05-30 09:51 AM


Excellent expression, Gloria. Sometimes hope in a brighter tomorrow is the only thing that keeps us going through the darkness of the present circumstances. So hold fast to that hope, always!

Love ya
Denise

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
3 posted 2000-05-30 01:44 PM


Gloria, this is one powerful poem. I haven't read much of you late... sorry... I see I'm missing out on some fantastic stuff.
Bravo....

Parker

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
4 posted 2000-05-31 09:10 AM


Sudhir: Thanks for your kindness, it was just a tough day, but my spirits are back and soaring.  

Denise: Thank you so very much, you are a wonderful friend that I cherish deeply.  

Parker: You've blown me away with your reply, thank you so very much.  

Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA
5 posted 2000-05-31 09:23 AM


There are some really great analogies here.  The cinder block dropped...the sniveling voices.  Days like this are few and far between, I hope.  It helps to put them into perspective in a poem, though.  Great writing.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-06-01 12:39 PM


Ditto, Gloria!  

Denise

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