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| Open Poetry #7 |
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Perdition |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Questions, never to be answered questions, Now lost in curses of man's ambitions, Set adrift; bereft of thoughts inclined, Whilst echoes through silent chambers; cloistered mind, Sorrow of my sorrow, what hast thee wraught, As rob of dreams from shallow grave unsought, I am like you, with sister and brother, Betrayer of all hopes, in silence smother, As dark shadows rest on sunken grave and vault, Listen, then listen hard, to pain's exalt, Adrift upon this sea by trust betrayed, I shall attempt no seige nor escalade, For I know thee, as now I know my face, Scourged by scorpion, midst gulfs of space, Nevermore eschew the sufferer to borrow, What hast thee wraught, sorrow of my sorrow. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Mike this is seriously deep and vivid in torment - I do not believe in Hell so it is hard for me to identify with such anquish - well written. ~netswan |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Thank you for the read and comment netswan. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Mike, as always! Denise |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Hauntingly beautiful, Mike. Corinne |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike--You paint with such dark color this poem that hurts with grief...very well done! You have exceptional poetic talent, my friend, and a hug from me. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I absolutely loved your wording and flow Mike ... they contained almost a haunting quality. Exeptionally well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
dark and powerful, I loved the lines Adrift upon this sea by trust betrayed, I shall attempt no seige nor escalade, For I know thee, as now I know my face, Scourged by scorpion, midst gulfs of space, Nevermore eschew the sufferer to borrow, What hast thee wraught, sorrow of my sorrow ------------------------ "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? " Douglas Adams. "Here chewing your tail is joy" Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Your rhythm in this piece is nearly as fetching as the words and message, themselves. How to honor such poetic proficiency but to say I shall read and reread. Wonderful... ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
I almost didn't post this as I did not know how it would be received. So I do ever so much appreciate the comments and especially those about the flow and rhythm, as to me that is what I was trying to achieve. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I know of no work you've produced that wouldn't be received well among our very discerning Passionate poets, my Kryptic Kansan.... Kansian.... friend....  This is exceptionally well done, and you're quite versatile, ya know?? .. |
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