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Wobbly Head Bob
Member

since 2000-05-15

Posts 299
Virginia, USA

0 posted 2000-05-15 02:29 PM

I concentrated on her
The blue belt that she wore
My thoughts were all about her
Of what she was before
With a look she sought;
She grabbed then caught
Me, running for the door

I sat myself inside her
White wisps that floated by
I placed my hands beside her
And felt she was to cry
With a sigh so pained;
She shook then rained
Her teardrops from the sky

I remove myself now from her
My soul is falling through
The winds that whip about her
Are pulling me toward you
With eyes deceiving;
She wept thus leaving
Me, to find what I must do

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2000-05-15 05:19 PM

Good poem sir! Welcome to the family!!

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

2 posted 2000-05-15 05:47 PM

Well, you found us! Welcome, Bob!

This poem is lovely... some really fine lines in here... I especially liked

"I sat myself inside her" and
"She shook then rained/ Her teardrops from the sky"...

well spoken, imaginative... creative!

Glad you stopped by! Hang around for a while, k?

-doreen

Jeffrey Carter

Member Elite

since 2000-04-08

Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!

3 posted 2000-05-16 10:06 PM

Great poem ....love the open ending, makes one think

use their imagination

All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Meadowmuse
Member Elite

since 1999-12-27

Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-05-16 10:26 PM

You've a delicate rhythm with this lovely poem. Welcome.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

LadySofia
Member

since 2000-05-16

Posts 238
FL., USA

5 posted 2000-05-16 10:35 PM

Wonderful verse. I liked the way in which it was worded, so ingenuitive yet simple. Keep up the great work.

^_^ LadySofia

"To the innocent and ancient ones, the sparks which light our fires." Amanda Piatt

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