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Open Poetry #7
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Death of your Champion
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Death of your Champion |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678
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Death of your Champion ~First Knight~ My heart cries in silence with an empty hollow sound. Death, blood and violence here upon the ground. This knight has fought this battle, and did the best I could. Battered armor, worn out saddle dying before I should. I know that I'm alive but the end is very near This I can derive the pain is very clear. Beaten down and now I'm fading, Yes my life you can take. But nothing is worth the trading of the love that we did make. Death I will surely see, now my love for you defiled. As strong as I could be, you could have killed me when you smiled. Take my life now quickly, Don't leave me in this pain. Pale white now and sickly, and there's nothing left to gain. < !signature--> A man does not love a woman because she is beautiful...But she is beautiful because he loves her. [This message has been edited by First__Knight (edited 05-13-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 First__Knight - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
A heart breaking verse. Your emotions a strongly felt in this. "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
The champion is wounded by the one that he loves. . . the unkindest cut of all. . . The hurt and pain are very evident here First Knight. . . Excellent poem. . . --------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Tom26 Junior Member
since 2000-05-07
Posts 30 |
The champion was defeated, not by an enemy, but by the one he loved. This poem is very powerful and true. -Tom Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching- Anonymus |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
What a poem, what strength of emotion exhibited, what sadness it brings out. There are many battles in life, and we become stronger with each battle fought. Whether we win or lose we are still champions in someones eyes.  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is an incredible poem full of heartfelt emotions FirstKnight ... the comments from those above are insightful, and I can only echo their sentiments ... nicely done! Best wishes for the next battle, /Kit |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
First_Knight, Well I guess the second knight will win again, enjoyed the poem. |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Thank you all very much |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
this is befitting of my mood here lately im glad i read it yuh its very good |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
have to echo the others, finely written, full of sadness and it is clear who the conqueror is...good work |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I feel like I am strong right now but if the woman that I have softened my heart for rejects me it would be very painful for me. James |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Poignant and sad, but I know from your other words that you have hope, too. Corinne |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Yes, I know that pain. Life does go on though, it just takes time. This is very sad and very well written, David. Denise |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
David...this poem saddens me in its content. We are only defeated if we allow ourselves to be...I've learned that lesson the hard way. There is always hope my friend and I hope you find exactly what you are looking for. Hugs Ruth |
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