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Open Poetry #7
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Closer.
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Closer. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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Curl into a foetal pose, burying my breath beneath the blankets. Somewhere under, a mute voice summons a scream, fading in emptiness as a whisper of still echoes. Banish my eyes so afraid for they are mirrors of truth, reflecting always my shallow soul. I retract, held in a cocoon embrace naked, complete in fragility. Shudder on a frozen kiss, strangling me slowly these icy lips. Lacking the will for warmth I freeze in my lonely dreams biting back against my suppression. I have monitored my evolution from egg shell to vacant vessel. Construct barrier walls for preservation, in a embryo of isolated closer nothing required safe for breathing. |
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| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lorilockheart Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206Alabama |
Going back to a fragile state like that of an embryo. I can only wonder what made this happen. This poem really had me thinking, which I always enjoy. Creative, interesting, expressive writing. Lori ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance. song by LeeAnn Womack ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
With all of the expression, emotion and soul searching within these lines, I cannot fathom there is a "shallow soul" within this vessel. Wonderfully thought-provoking Brian. I enjoyed this! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Okay.. this is frightening, Closer (By Nine Inch Nails) just came on the radio as I opened this... That aside, I must say that I greatly enjoyed your poem Brian. Strong poem and strong writing... I agree with Kit that no "shallow soul" could write a poem so deep and so full of emotion. Excellent writing, greatly enjoyed. Abrahm Simons "You... You are so special You have the talent To make me feel like Dirt" - Alice in Chains, "Dirt" |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
This is a very, very deep poem, touching me at the depths of my soul. Something terribly fragile and sad here. Scary, almost. Wonderfully, powerfully written. The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh Brian...I think someone needs to hold you while you sleep sir. This is fragile, yet so tenderly wonderful. I agee with Kim though. She said it all in her response. You are so much more than you might think. Your writing says so much about the kind of person you are, and I do believe I LIKE you lots!  I hope to read much more from you! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Wow thanks to everyone, you are too kind. Dusk Threader, I have yet to hear that Nine inch nails song though I did borrow the title for the poem from a Joy Division album. I guess I am interested in an inner sancutary where I can be happy in isolation. This world can seem quite large and wide open at times. Yes Femmefatale it probably help if I had someone to hold me, then maybe this world would not seem so wide open. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Fabulous writing, Brian. My most favorite line, though they are all great, is: 'from egg shell to vacant vessel' Very good! Denise |
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REBECCA ALLYN Member
since 2000-05-09
Posts 91Lima,Ohio |
BEautiful,absoultly beauiful great work I really like this poem it's so very deep and interesting!!!! LOTS of LUV, Becky |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Brian, very penetrating the feelings I read on screen ~ indeed this is great writing. CocoBaci |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Brian, there is so much said in this poem one has to read it twice or even three times to catch all the fabulous lines you've used. Nicely done  |
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